


The Day Before

by mon_dieu



Category: VIXX
Genre: AKA that one AU where you start seeing colours once you meet your soulmate, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Color Blindness, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-18
Updated: 2017-06-04
Packaged: 2018-06-03 03:13:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 21,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6594394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mon_dieu/pseuds/mon_dieu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jung Taekwoon meets the love of his life who dyes his reality in more colours than he ever could have imagined. When tragedy strikes, he could only wonder one thing. Why couldn't it have lasted forever?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Find My Way To You

**Author's Note:**

> Word count: 2145  
> Rating: PG  
> A/N: This is the soulmate!au where you start seeing colours once you meet your soulmate, combined with the soulmate-mark!au. The title is taken from the song “The Day Before” by Nell.

Hakyeon was walking through the park, his friend Hongbin in tow. It could barely be considered a park, considering it was more akin to a large forest, except it was taken care of by the caretakers. The park was blooming with flowers and beautiful trees, and the soft wind caressed Hakyeon's face. They had passed a couple earlier, where the girl had commented on how green everything was, and how lovely the flowers looked in spring. Hakyeon supposed she was right, not like he knew the difference. To him, everything looked like different shades of grey, some of the flowers who he assumed were heavily saturated in colour appeared almost black. His world was in monochrome, and would remain like that until he met the one person the universe had set out for him. 

Like everyone else, he had a semicircle tattoo on his wrist. The semicircle tattoo would turn into a full circle in a colour supposedly suiting his soulmate's personality. The tattoo was mostly there to indicate that soulmate was still out there, waiting for him as well. If your soulmate were to die, the tattoo would disappear, and all the colours from your vision would cease to exist, as your world returned to monochrome. 

 

Society prioritized the soulmate system to a ridiculous amount. In almost any media, you could hardly go a day without seeing commercials about how much your life would improve once you met your other half. Some jobs even demanded that you had found your other half before applying for a job, as it was theorized to make you more stable, a better worker, and more efficient at your job if you had found your true love.

There was some truth to it, but mostly because you were driven mad by the commercializing of the soulmate system, rather than an actual physical effect. You had a tendency to be pitied if you had yet to find your soulmate, and even more if you had managed to lose them along the way. What people seemed to forget with the system, was that expect for filling out a tattoo and giving you colour vision, the system did not have any physical effects. If you want a life with this person, you have to work for it. The system won't actually make them adore you, it could at most give a placebo effect. If true love were to exist in this world, it wasn't because of tattoos of half circles on people's wrist.

 

Hakyeon stopped. He had been admiring the view, but he noticed he had lost Hongbin somewhere along the way. He retraced his steps before he found his friend crouching in front of a flower that appeared charcoal to Hakyeon's eyes. Hongbin was a true aesthete. He had an affinity for photography, and loved taking pictures of everything he found appealing or artistically lovely. 

_"Why are you taking pictures of everything here? You know as well as I that you can't fully appreciate it, considering you can't see colour."_ Hakyeon said to his friend. He was supportive of Hongbin's hobbies up to a certain point, but he was snapping photos like a madman. Hongbin stood up from where he was previously crouched in front of the flower.

 

_"Okay, first of all, rude. I have no idea when I'll meet my soulmate. Maybe I'll never meet them. Some people don't. I don't think that I should restrict myself for enjoying beautiful things just because I haven't met the so-called love of my life yet."_ Hongbin said, giving Hakyeon a resigned look. He had his own way of looking at the soulmate system, and didn't believe it was as important as most of society did. _"Also, if I do meet my soulmate at some point, it would be nice to look at the visual representation of my memories, now in full colour. "_

_"I suppose_. _"_   Hakyeon replied, running a hand through his hair. He was getting a bit tired with the whole soulmate business. He had already lived 25 years in monochrome, and it was starting to look like he would never meet this magical person. Maybe soul mates were just a thing from fairytales, like magic and faeries. _"I guess going around waiting for someone who might never come is sort of ridiculous."_

 

_"I don't think it's ridiculous. I just try to calm myself down, thinking that if I never meet them, it will be alright as well."_ Hongbin stated after a long pause. He had realized that Hakyeon's mood had changed. He knew the older man was nervous about never meeting his significant other, but worrying wouldn't help. Only time could tell. _"You'll meet them Hakyeon. Just look at your tattoo. That means the person is still out there, somewhere. They are probably looking for you as well."_

_"How can you be so sure? Maybe they are on the other side of the planet? Maybe I won't meet them until I'm like 80, and I'll only get a couple of years with them? What if they meet me, but when they do, they don't want me?"_ Hakyeon's gaze fell to the ground.

_"Of course they'll want you! You are really smart, easy to talk to, friendly and you're rather attractive. Plus, you're only 25. You have a couple of years left."_ Hongbin grinned at that last comment.

_"Hey!"_ Hakyeon hit him playfully. He knew he was joking. The perfect person would come along one day. 

 

***

 

It was Monday morning, and Hakyeon was making cupcakes. Hakyeon worked at a small bakery in town. It had a rather calming atmosphere and they had soft music playing in the shop. The entire bakery had a serene feeling to it, and Hakyeon loved working there more than anything else. He had started out as a stress-baker, and just decided to make it his profession, after attending culinary school. Baking calmed him down,and it was a fun way to spend his time. When he was at work he didn't feel that much like his time was running out. Maybe love didn't just have to come from a person, but could simply come from a activity, and the people he had around him. Hakyeon was happy, but it always felt like there was a part of him missing.

 

_"Hey, Hakyeon? Are the first batch of those cupcakes ready yet?"_ Sanghyuk asked. Ah yes, Sanghyuk. Also known as the current bane of Hakyeon's existence. The kid was an architecture student, and worked here part-time. He was usually behind the counter, but also had to pick things up from the kitchen when Hakyeon hadn't had time to move them to the front yet. The owner had put him under Hakyeon's wing, and he was Hakyeon's responsibility.

_"Yes, they are over there."_ Hakyeon said without lifting his gaze, vaguely gesturing to the location of the cupcakes.

 

_"Are those the ones on the pastel blue tray?"_ Sanghyuk asked, without thinking about it. Now Hakyeon genuinely did look up, just to give him a look that clearly said 'are you fucking kidding me?'. Sanghyuk gulped.

_"I don't know, you tell me, kid. The ones on the ash grey tray, on top of the taupe grey table."_ Hakyeon grumbled. Half the reason Hakyeon had a tendency to find the kid annoying was the fact that despite being 5 years younger than him, the kid had found his soulmate. His soulmate, Jaehwan, had apparently been his next door neighbor when he moved to a flat for himself for the first time when he was starting University. Lucky little brat.

 

_"I-I'm sorry. I forgot t-that you didn't s-see colour like I do. I won't do it again, I promise!"_ Sanghyuk apologized profusely. He always stuttered when he was nervous. Hakyeon should probably stop this before Sanghyuk started weeping. It would be a mess for everyone involved, and Hakyeon was not having it.

_"Jesus, kid, it's fine. I'm used to it."_ Hakyeon said resignedly. Sanghyuk was still avoiding his gaze. Hakyeon sighed. _"Stop standing there and go make yourself useful. Take the cupcakes up to the front, Sungjae could probably use some help anyway."_ Sungjae was another part-time employee, but as opposed to Sanghyuk, Sungjae was attending culinary school, and hadn't found his soulmate yet, so Hakyeon could sympathize more with him.

 

***

 

It wasn't more than two hours later when he was interrupted again. Usually Hakyeon was just baking, but sometimes he was sent up to the front desk if they were understaffed, or if there was any trouble.

_"Hakyeooooon~"_ He heard Sungjae before he saw him coming into the kitchen. Sungjae's lanky body was leaning up against the door when he entered.

 

_"Yes, Sungjae? Is anything the matter?"_ Hakyeon asked calmly, smiling at his part-time employee. His good mood was back, and he wasn't going to let it disappear again. 

_"Jaehwan and a friend came to visit, and Sanghyuk took a 'break' from working, and is just talking to them and not doing any work."_ Sungjae whined. Hakyeon sighed. Sometimes he felt like a tired parent when working at this bakery. He shook his head resignedly.

_"Does meeting your soulmate make you completely useless, or what? I'll come out there in a second."_ Hakyeon groaned. He took a loaf of bread out of the oven, and left it to chill. He ran a hair through his hair, his mood was officially ruined. This was not the first time something like this had happened, and frankly he was getting tired.

 

When Hakyeon left the kitchen he wanted to just hide his face in his hands due to the amount of frustration he felt in that moment. He saw the cartoon character-like person that was sitting at one of the tables named Lee Jaewhan, infamously known as Sanghyuk's soulmate. Next to him was another person, he had dark hair and sharp features, he must be Jaehwan's friend. Sitting in front of him was the culprit himself, Sanghyuk.

 

_"Han Sang Hyuk! This is your third warning this month!"_ Hakyeon scolded. He noticed Sanghyuk freeze, before slowly turning to face him. There weren't anyone else in the bakery at the moment, so Hakyeon had no qualms about scolding him in public. _"I get that you are in love, but this is getting ridiculous. If you want to keep this job, you better stay for the duration of your shift."_  

_"Don't let this affect Hyukkie, please. It was my idea!"_ Jaehwan spoke up. He looked visibly distressed, while his friend's visage remained a complete poker face. 

_"You can look at it this way, Jaehwan. I don't care if it was your idea or not, considering you are not the person working here. Sanghyuk is."_ Hakyeon retorted. _"And Sanghyuk, consider yourself officially on probation from now on."_

 

_"Hakyeon! Probation, really? That is so not fair."_ Sanghyuk whined. He was pouting, most likely unintentionally considering he knew full well that had no effect on Hakyeon.

_"Not fair, really? I wonder what your basis of comparison is."_ Hakyeon said coldly. _"I am fine with Jaehwan visiting you, and you two chatting a bit while you are working, but you are not to stop working just because he decided to graze us with his presence."_

 

Sanghyuk mumbled some inaudible complaint, but went back to work. Jaehwan and the other man had moved to sit by the counter. Hakyeon turned to Jaehwan's friend.

_"Sorry for the trouble, sir. We try not to make a habit of these events."_ Hakyeon side-eyed Sanghyuk. _"Or I try, at least. Can I get you anything?"_

_"It's fine, I am just here with Jaehwan to make sure that he gets back to work on time. And there's no reason to call me sir. You can call me Taekwoon."_ Taekwoon said. His voice was softer than Hakyeon had expected. He had sharp eyes, and looked somewhat intimidating, but when he spoke his voice sounded soft as a feather. Hakyeon felt a strange pull towards him for some reason. 

 

_"Well then, Taekwoon. My name is Hakyeon. I am Jaehwan's soulmate's co-worker. Nice to meet you."_ Hakyeon raised his hand to shake Taekwoon's. Once Taekwoon took his hand he felt as if there was an explosion in his mind.

When he looked down at his wrist, the semicircle had turned into a full circle. Suddenly his monochromatic world had turned polychrome. He was seeing hues of colours he had never dreamed of before. He had never bothered trying learning all the colours names', considering his world was always some shade of grey, but now he knew he needed to learn them all. He looked up and met Taekwoon's eyes.They were a really warm and dark colour. He looked as shocked as Hakyeon did. 

 

_"Hakyeon? Are you okay?"_ Sungjae asked, running up to him. 

_"I'm- Yes, I am okay now."_ Hakyeon said, still pretty dazed. _"I think I just met my soulmate."_

 

 


	2. How did the universe come up with you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 2015  
> Rating: G/PG

They had decided to close down the bakery for today. All the employees were too distracted to finish their work properly, so it was most likely best to call it off. Sungjae congratulated Hakyeon and Taekwoon, but went home afterwards to catch up on his sleep. Hakyeon was looking around the room with an intense fascination which made him look like a child in a candy store. Taekwoon appeared to be overwhelmed, but he looked happy nonetheless. 

_"It's so strange. I have lived twenty-five years in a greyscale world, and finally I am seeing the world as what it is."_ Hakyeon said absentmindedly. The light looked brighter, the light wooden walls made the place look calming, and the bakery's sitting area had soft colours that weren't too extreme. They had a picture on one of the walls that was truly atrocious, though. It was a mesh of strong colours, and all Hakyeon knew was that he disliked it. Taekwoon was looking at his wrist tattoo, now a complete circle.

 

_"Hey, Jaehwan, what colour is that?"_ Taekwoon asked, pointing at his tattoo. Jaehwan looked over curiously.

_"That is yellow. A kind of golden shade of yellow. So this is the colour_ _that is supposed to represent Hakyeon's personality, huh?"_ Jaehwan replied. 

_"It looks almost like a wedding ring."_ Sanghyuk commented, leaning over the counter. Jaehwan hummed in agreement. Hakyeon walked over to see his soulmate's tattoo. It was a bright colour, and looked happy and powerful, in a way.

_"It's a beautiful colour, nevertheless."_ Taekwoon commented, glancing over at Hakyeon. Hakyeon smiled.

 

_" Sanghyuk, what is the name of this colour?"_ Hakyeon asked, showing his own wrist to the younger. Sanghyuk looked at his wrist briefly before responding.

_"Blue. Sapphire blue to be specific."_ Sanghyuk stated. So this is blue, Hakyeon thought. It looks deep and strong, and it looked beautiful. Sapphire blue was quickly becoming his favourite colour. 

_"It's a very pleasing colour. Someone told me that the ocean was blue once, is that true?"_ Hakyeon inquired.

" _Yes. Blue is the colour of the sea, the colour of the sky on a sunny day and the sky at night, for example. Yellow is the colour of the sun, bananas, sunflowers, ducklings and so on. The shade of yellow on Taekwoon's wrist is called gold, and is used in a lot of jewellry, like wedding rings."_ Jaehwan explained calmly. He recognized the sensation of seeing colour for the first time, and wanted to explain it to the new couple the best he could. 

 

_"Which colours are the ones on your wrists? I can already tell Sanghyuk is going to have an obnoxious colour on his wrist to suit Jaehwan's personality."_ Taekwoon smirked. Jaehwan scoffed.

_"I can let you know that Sanghyuk is perfectly happy with his colour, and that there is nothing obnoxious about it."_ Jaehwan put on an offended face.

_"Well..."_ Sanghyuk began, smiling at his soulmate's silliness. 

_"And what is that supposed to mean?"_ Jaehwan gave  Sanghyuk a questioning gaze.

_"It's a bit... loud."_ Sanghyuk giggled. The face Jaehwan was making was the face of utter betrayal. Sanghyuk leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. He laughed again when he saw how quickly the anger dissipated from his soulmate's face.

 

_"Anyway, you asked about our colours, right?"_ Sanghyuk asked. Taekwoon nodded in response, as he watched Sanghyuk roll up his sleeve. _"The one on my wrist is called chartreuse. It's somewhere between green and yellow."_

Taekwoon had been joking before, but that colour was really bright and annoying. He watched as Jaehwan rolled up his sleeve. It was another strong colour, but a much nicer one this time. 

_"The colour the universe chose to represent Hyukkie's personality is called ruby red. Maybe because he is such a gem."_ Jaehwan grinned. Sanghyuk groaned.

_"You should be thanking your gods for the fact that I love you, because that pun was awful."_

 

***

 

After a while, Hakyeon and Taekwoon had left the bakery. The universe had decided that they were made for one another, so they better get used to having one another around. Hakyeon quickly learned that Taekwoon worked as a librarian. This library happened to be the street across from the coffee shop that Jaehwan worked at, which is where they met. Jaehwan had of course been awfully annoying when it came to the soulmate subject ( _"Wait, so you are two years older than me, and you haven't met your soulmate yet? That is insane, I met mine just as he was starting University!"_ ). Maybe it was a reason those two were picked for one another. Sure, they didn't do it with bad intent, but it was still somewhat annoying.

 

Taekwoon learned that Hakyeon was five months older than him, that he had a passion for baking, and that he loved reading almost as much as Taekwoon did. Hakyeon seemed so energetic when they were out, and even though Taekwoon were usually shy around people he didn't know well, he felt none of that awkwardness around Hakyeon. It felt like Hakyeon was the piece of his heart that had been missing, and now that they had been introduced, he knew he wanted to stay with him forever. 

Hakyeon remembered something that Jaehwan said to him before they left the bakery. ( _"He used to be very shy when I first met him. He has worked hard to dispose of his shyness, but he is still somewhat shy. Take care of him."_ ). Taekwoon didn't seem shy to him, as much as he appeared simply quiet. That suited him fine, as Hakyeon was very talkative. Taekwoon apparently liked long walks, coffee, and listening to music. He also said he knew Tae Kwon Do, and had an affinity for sports when he was younger. 

 

They walked for a long time, and ended up exchanging numbers. Even though the soulmate system supposedly had no actual emotional effects on people, they both felt a connection with one another that they hadn't been able to find with anyone else before. Not all soulmates ended up forming romantic relationships, but it seemed likely for them. Hakyeon took in the warm colour of Taekwoon's eyes, how his pale skin contrasted to his own, how he was taller than Hakyeon (but for once he didn't mind), before he kissed Taekwoon's cheek as a goodbye. The unromantic reality was that Taekwoon had to go back to work, and Hakyeon had errands to run, so they couldn't spend all their time together, soulmate or no. Taekwoon promised to stop by the bakery the day after, and then he was gone.

 

***

 

Hakyeon and Hongbin were back in the park they had visited only a week before. They were sitting at a bench, observing the world around them. Hakyeon had been studying colours at an intense rate. Whenever he wasn't working, or spending time with Taekwoon, he was studying the names of all the colours, and what each nuance of colour was called. 

 

_"The trees are various shades of green, and the tree bark is usually some shade of brown."_ He described to  Hongbin. The younger man smiled. He was happy that Hakyeon finally seemed to have found his happiness. Hakyeon had always been very good at hiding his misery, but he appeared happier now than ever before. 

_"What colour is the sky, Hakyeonnie?"_ Hongbin asked. 

_"It varies. Today it is azure, a shade of blue."_ Hakyeon replied.

 

_"Maybe we should go through my pictures, so you can tell me what colours they are."_ Hongbin stated.

_"I would rather we can look at them together, once you meet your soulmate."_ Hakyeon said. He didn't want to take the joy out of experiencing the pictures in full  colour away from his best friend.

_"What if I never meet my soulmate?"_ Hongbin asked.

_"You will. It might take some time, but you will meet them. Of course, if it so happens that you never meet them, and you are on your death bed, of course I will explain you what colours the pictures are."_ Hakyeon assured him. 

 

***

 

_"Come over, I'll send you my address."_ Hakyeon had texted him. Taekwoon was eager to meet his soulmate again, so he naturally obliged. He had been meeting Hakyeon frequently in the bakery as Jaehwan and him often came there on breaks, but this was the first time Hakyeon had invited him over. As he waited for Hakyeon to open the door, he suddenly felt all kinds of nervous. He had met the other man just a couple of days before, and now he was visiting his flat casually. It felt so strange, yet it was like he had known Hakyeon all his life. 

The door in front of him opened, and in front of him stood Hakyeon in all his beauty. He was wearing a soft-looking pastel pink sweater, (at least that's what he thought the colour was called), dark jeans, and white socks. The light colour of his sweater contrasted to his gorgeous tan skin. Hakyeon always looked like he was glowing, like he was a god amongst humans, and Taekwoon thanked whatever deity blessed him with the opportunity to be Hakyeon's soulmate. Taekwoon greeted Hakyeon, while thinking about how beautiful he always looked.

 

_"Do you want any wine?"_ Hakyeon asked. It was currently 8 PM, and the lights from the city outside Hakyeon's windows were shining in the darkness of the night. 

_"Sure, why not?"_ Taekwoon replied. He watched Hakyeon bring out a bottle and two glasses from the kitchen, and they sat next to one another at the sofa. 

_"We can watch a movie, if you want."_ Hakyeon said absentmindedly. He didn't really mind what they were doing, he just knew that he wanted to be close to Taekwoon. Taekwoon simply nodded, and Hakyeon turned on his TV and started browsing through Netflix. He shuffled closer to Taekwoon, who in turn put his arm around Hakyeon's shoulder.

 

They ended up picking a recent romantic comedy. The storyline wasn't too demanding, but they didn't mind, they barely paid attention to it anyway. Hakyeon was sitting in Taekwoon's embrace, and they were talking softly. Hakyeon felt safe in his arms. He was always in charge of something, and always needed to be a composed and caring person for the other people in his life, but for once there were no such expectation. Taekwoon didn't expect him to be anything more than himself, and that was very relaxing. 

They had finished about half of the film when Hakyeon shifted in his seat. He had finished his wine, and went to pour himself another. He looked at Taekwoon, and caressed his face with his hand. Taekwoon looked so beautiful in the dim light, and when he smiled, Hakyeon felt his cheeks heat up. He sat up a bit, and leaned closer.

 

_"Can I?"_ Hakyeon asked. The question was left unfinished, but Taekwoon understood, and nodded. They leaned closer, and their lips met. It wasn't the explosion of fireworks that movies led you to believe, but it was like a rush and a calming feeling all at once. It felt right. 

It was like they had always been suffering from some kind of incurable loneliness, and for once they had been allowed to live without it. They weren't lonely once they had another. 

 

When they broke the kiss, they didn't say anything. There was no need. Taekwoon pulled Hakyeon halfway into his lap and kissed him again, just a peck this time. Taekwoon caressed his face and let his hand rest on Hakyeon's face. Hakyeon leaned into his touch and smiled.

Hakyeon, Taekwoon learned, was a very different person away from the public gaze. When he wasn't at work or outside, he was much softer. He was attentive and sweet, and was much more quiet. Whenever Taekwoon saw him at the bakery he was in control, louder, and worked hard. It was obvious that he had the respect of all his co-workers. He seemed to never tire, and always had time for anyone. Is it any wonder Taekwoon fell for him right away?

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> Sorry for the wait. I kept writing and rewriting this chapter because I was afraid it wouldn't be good enough. 
> 
> The entire Hakyeon's and Taekwoon's love story is sort of based on an aesthetic, almost film-like, radiant feeling without trying to make it sound like too much of a teen movie cliché. In an almost ridiculous contrast I made the couple of Jaehwan and Sanghyuk who are a relationship based mostly on clinginess and dreadful puns.
> 
> What did you think? I love to hear your responses, so don't be afraid to comment. If you find any typos or have any complaints about how I write the characters, don't be afraid to tell me that either. I live for comments, and they are my favourite thing about writing fics.
> 
> Love you lots, I'll try to update soon ♥


	3. I was born to love you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 1877
> 
> Rating: G/PG
> 
> A/N: I am sorry this chapter is shorter than the others. I figured it was better to put out a shorter chapter, than nothing at all.

 

Six months had passed since their chance encounter caused Hakyeon and Taekwoon to meet. It was strange how such a random occurrence changed so much. Hakyeon and Taekwoon's relationship had evolved quickly, and they had become inseparable without much of a thought. Taekwoon would join Jaehwan at the bakery during their lunch breaks, and had a tendency to stop by a bit more often than he probably should, even during work hours. It was a good thing that Taekwoon had a good relationship with his boss, or he might have gotten himself in trouble. 

Taekwoon was currently moving boxes into the flat they recently bought together. They had not seen the point of simply renting the place. None of them had any plans of moving away from the other in any foreseeable future, so it didn't really matter. They could always sell the flat and buy a bigger place later on anyway. 

 

Hakyeon had suggested every room in the place should be painted in pastel colours. Pastel colours wouldn't be as tiresome as many of the more saturated colours would be, but this way he could still wake up every morning still seeing colour. Taekwoon would do anything to make his soulmate happy, and therefore had no complaints. It's not like he minded anyway.The colours were pretty, and their home certainly stood in contrast to the all-white walls of Jaehwan and Sanghyuk's place. The only room they had decided to paint white was their bathroom, but even that had a mint-coloured tiled floor.

 

Hakyeon was sitting on the navy blue sofa in their pastel blue living room. When he noticed Taekwoon had re-entered the flat, he looked up from the book he was reading to give his boyfriend a smile.

_"That was the last of it. What are you reading?"_ Taekwoon said, as he sat down next to the other man. 

_"The Great Gatsby. I completely forgot I had this, I haven't read it in years. I found it while organizing the bookshelf."_ Hakyeon said. He had loved this book when he was a teenager. It wasn't the most cheerful book, but it had a lot of sentimental value to him.

 

_"So that is why the bookshelf is only half-full."_ Taekwoon commented, sending Hakyeon a somewhat exasperated look. The other man was supposed to sort their large collection of books, and set up the living room, but it looked like he had ignored most of that task for the book. Hakyeon smiled sweetly at him.

_"Sorry, darling. I'll get right to it, just let me finish the chapter."_ Hakyeon said absentmindedly. Taekwoon shook his head. He wasn't buying it. He placed his fingers at Hakyeon's sides, and started to tickle him. Hakyeon dropped the worn paperback as he shook with laughter.

 

_"Show mercy! I'll fix the bookshelf!"_ Hakyeon laughed as tears started forming in his eyes. Taekwoon paused.

_"Promise?"_ He kept his hands at Hakyeon's sides as a warning as he shot him a look.

_"I promise, I'll do it now."_ Hakyeon smiled brightly, and Taekwoon let his hands fall. Hakyeon looked out of breath, with messy hair and a red tinge on his cheeks. He looked hotter than anyone should, right after having being tickled at least. 

 

_"Well, you don't have to do it right away."_ Taekwoon smiled, a mischievous look in his eye. He leaned forward, and kissed Hakyeon softly. Hakyeon pulled Taekwoon closer and let their lips meet again. Even though they had kissed each other a ridiculous amount of times, each kiss shared the excitement of their very first one, just with a bit more ease and comfort that they built up over time. Taekwoon certainly didn't mind this kind of procrastination.

 

***

 

It was strange at first, waking up in a new flat next to somebody else. Hakyeon knew he would get quickly accustomed to the mornings. Seeing Taekwoon's bed head, or how relaxed he looked before he woke up. Slow Sunday mornings where they would just lie next to one another, pondering the mystery of each other, at least until someone got up to make coffee. Soft kisses, fleeting touches. Even though they both needed time to be alone every once in a while, things were never forced when they were together. No reason to stress, just simple comfort.

 

Taekwoon was lying on their bed, Hakyeon's still sleeping form in his arms. He thought back to their first proper date. He had taken Hakyeon to a coffee shop. It was nothing big, but it was a nice way to be able to talk to Hakyeon and to learn more about the person that the universe meant was the one for him. He quickly found out that the more he learned about Hakyeon, the better he liked him. This was never the unlikely fairy tales the soulmate system had promised him. It was better. It was better, because Hakyeon was so lovely, so talented, so nice, so soft, so strong, and so very real. For once the reality was better than the dream. Hakyeon was not a magical prince, and neither was he, but that was okay. Taekwoon didn't need an enchanting prince, as long as he had the beautiful man in his arms.

 

***

 

As Taekwoon became acquainted with Hakyeon, he in turn got to know his best friend Hongbin. Hongbin was currently studying at a nearby university, and he adored photography and the music of Park Hyo-shin. That seemed to be the two defining obsessions in his life. Hongbin was studying film and photography, if he was not mistaken. He seemed to have an ever present sense of calm in his personality. Not necessarily quiet or shy, as much of at peace with himself and the world. He was a very relaxing person to be around.

 

One day he found himself running into Hongbin again on his way to Hakyeon's bakery. Taekwoon always spent his lunch breaks with Hakyeon, but every once in a while Hongbin would tag along as well. He happened to not have class that day, so he paid it no mind. Usually he would share the walk with Jaehwan, but Sanghyuk wasn't working today, meaning the other didn't see the point.

Hongbin was nice. He had been taking pictures around the city earlier, and eagerly showed Hakyeon and Taekwoon, like an excited child would show off a good mark at a test. It helped a lot that the couple could both see colour, because they could assist Hongbin in picking out those with nice colours, and which ones he should filter in black and white. Hongbin had started selling pictures as well, so he could make some money off his hobby, and he was doing well. He had a true talent, and finally other people were starting to recognize that.

 

Beyond Hongbin's intense photography hobby, they didn't talk about anything of real significance. Just spending time with each other was comforting in itself. Hakyeon had made them try his newest concoction. He loved trying new recipes, and experimenting in the kitchen. As they were a rather small bakery, and not a chain, it gave Hakyeon more freedom. As long as he checked with his supervisor, Hakyeon had free range. 

 

_"I'm not sure what I'm tasting, but I like it."_ Hongbin commented, and Taekwoon nodded in agreement. Hakyeon smiled.

_"Those are green tea cookies. I know other places have tried similar things, but I figured it was worth a try."_ Hakyeon shrugged. He was never super confident in his experiments, so it was good to get an unbiased opinion.

 

_"All I know is that I want more. They were really good."_ Taekwoon grinned. 

_"I'm so happy you liked them!"_ Hakyeon said to them both, practically radiating happiness. _"I'll have to run it by the boss, but except that, they're as close as implemented."_ Taekwoon unlocked his phone to look at the time, and his eyes widened a bit in panic.

 

_"I have to go back to work now, dearest. I'll see you at home, okay?"_ Taekwoon soft voice broke the silence. Truth be told he had already stayed too long, and his break was over ten minutes ago.

 

_"Okay. See you soon."_ Hakyeon muttered back. His voice was a lot softer now than Hongbin was used to hearing. Taekwoon leaned close, and caressed his lover's face, only to kiss him goodbye. There was something extremely intimate about the exchange, that made Hongbin look away. Either in respect or in envy, he wasn't sure.

His friends poured their love into every action, when they were together, so that even a temporary farewell like this one made them look like they may never see one another again. Maybe that was what they were so afraid of. They had waited so long to meet one another, that now they surely didn't want to ever go back. Finding your soulmate could grant you happiness, but it could also grant you fear and sadness like you had never felt before. In that respect, it also made you more vulnerable. 

As Taekwoon walked away, Hakyeon followed him with his gaze. There was a sad smile on his face every time Taekwoon went away. He always knew he would return, yet he missed him, even if he wasn't far away.

 

_"You really love him, don't you?"_ Hongbin asked, once Taekwoon had finally disappeared from sight. The question caught Hakyeon off guard, and he twitched, simply out of surprise. It was like he had forgotten that he was not alone. _"You were far gone."_ Hongbin commented.

_"He has that effect. To answer your question; yes, I do. An almost ridiculous amount. I always thought loving your soulmate would be a struggle, but with him it's effortless. Even though I haven't known him more than six months, it feels like I have known him a lifetime."_ Hakyeon spoke in a floating, close to dreamy, voice. _"I hope you get to experience a love like that for yourself soon."_

 

_"I hope so too."_ Hongbin said, a hint of sadness in his voice, as he looked down at the floor. He kept telling himself that it didn't matter, but it was hard to believe some days. Hakyeon put a comforting hand on his shoulder. He knew his friend's pain well, as he had to wait to meet his soulmate as well. It wasn't strange for Hongbin to feel dejected. 

_"Finish your cookie. I have more things you need to try, like these honey and caramel biscuits!"_ Hakyeon didn't like it when his friends were sad, and he had noticed that food had a tendency to cheer them up. 

_"_ _If you continue this I am going to gain so much weight for when I meet my soulmate."_ Hongbin mumbled, but finished his cookie never-the-less.

_"What does that matter? At least you get to enjoy all my great inventions beforehand. Plus, they are your soulmate, they will love you anyway."_ Hakyeon smiled, before shoving another plate of different sorts of pastries at his friend. _"You at least have to try the banana bread. I tweaked the recipe, so it's a bit different from the last banana bread we had."_

 

Hongbin was thankful for Hakyeon. He could always pick him up when he was feeling sad and distract him. He really needed that.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!
> 
> Sorry for the wait, exam season is hell, and takes away my time and inspiration. I have been staring at this chapter for the past three days, trying to perfect it, but getting nowhere. I hope it was okay, though.
> 
> What did you think? I love to hear your responses, so don't be afraid to comment. If you find any typos or have any complaints about how I write the characters, don't be afraid to tell me that either. I live for comments, and they are my favourite thing about writing fics.
> 
> Love you lots, I'll try to update soon ♥


	4. Heaven sent me to love you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 2699  
> Rating: PG  
> A/N: The title is a part of a quote from the movie "More Than Blue". The title from chapter 3 was part 1 of the quote.

It was a Sunday morning, and with the approach of summer, the warmth had settled into the room once Hakyeon woke up. The sunlight was wandering in through the sheer curtains of their bedroom, and Hakyeon was starting to feel very warm. Taekwoon was very hot at his side, and at some point during the night, they had ended up in a tight embrace. He picked up his phone from the bedside table, albeit with some difficulty. It read 10:04 AM. He wasn't really one for sleeping in at all, but it was nice sometimes.

 

Hakyeon tried to get out of Taekwoon's hold, slowly at first. He inched himself, trying hard to get up without waking Taekwoon. Maybe he could make breakfast for the two of them. Just when he thought he had found a functioning strategy, Taekwoon made a groaning noise and pulled him closer. Hakyeon sighed, and let his head drop to the pillow. 

Hakyeon tried once more, quicker this time. It didn't really matter if he woke Taekwoon, when he thought about it. The other man had an irrefutable talent for falling back asleep. He got about halfway before he heard Taekwoon mumble something inaudible. 

 

_"Did you say something?"_ Hakyeon asked in a low voice, wondering if he might have imagined it.

_"Stay here."_ Taekwoon said, louder this time, without opening his eyes. Hakyeon sighed.

_"But I'm bored."_ Hakyeon whined. He physically could not stay in bed any longer, he was too awake. The energy within him was practically skittering underneath his skin. 

_"Please."_ Taekwoon begged. Hakyeon had a feeling that he might have pouted, had he been properly awake. He tried hugging Hakyeon even tighter, even if the older resisted.

 

_"Think about it this way. If I wake up I'll make coffee."_ Hakyeon suggested. Taekwoon loved his coffee, so he was practically resulting to blackmail at this point. Taekwoon paused for a minute, and just when Hakyeon started to wonder if he had fallen back asleep, he spoke again.

_"I'm listening."_ Taekwoon grumbled.

_"I'll even make waffles for breakfast. You don't have to get up just because I am."_ Hakyeon smiled, he knew he was winning this argument. Taekwoon didn't even respond, he just released him from his hold. This made Hakyeon laugh all the way to the kitchen.

 

***

 

Jaehwan had woken up bright and early at 7 AM. He was feeling wide awake despite having gone to bed late. He went to take a shower, and changed into comfortable jeans and a white t-shirt. He tried calling Sanghyuk, so he could come over and he could see him again. Sanghyuk only lived across the hall, but they had decided for now that it was best that they had their own separate living spaces, to give themselves some space. The phone rang three times before Sanghyuk picked up. 

_"No."_ Sanghyuk said, before hanging up. He sounded pretty groggy. Jaehwan scoffed. He rang again. This time Sanghyuk picked up right away.

 

_"Jaehwan, why the fuck are you calling at the ass crack of dawn?"_  Sanghyuk groaned.

_"It's 7 AM."_ Jaehwan stated. He heard a sigh at the other side of the line.

 

_"Same shit. I'm sleepy, get to the point please."_ Sanghyuk whined. Jaehwan let out a laugh.

_"I'm bored, come entertain me?"_ Jaehwan asked hopefully.

 

_"I am not awake. I won't be for at least 2-3 hours of more sleep. You can always come over and nap with me? My bed is feeling cold without you."_  Sanghyuk proposed. Jaehwan smiled to himself. He was so cute.

_"I feel really awake, Hyukkie, I don't know..."_ Jaehwan whined. Maybe if he whined enough he could get his way.

 

_"Well, that is all I have the energy for, take it or leave it."_  Sanghyuk deadpanned. _"I miss you?"_ The younger tried.

_"I AM COMING OVER."_  Sanghyuk broke into laughter at the other side. 

 

He had his own key to Sanghyuk's place, so he brought his keys and phone before he was out the door. He took the time to lock his own flat, and went straight into Sanghyuk's. He knew Sanghyuk would be in bed, so he walked into his bathroom for a second, checked his reflection, and went to find Sanghyuk.

 

_"That was fast."_  Sanghyuk said. Jaehwan could only see his bare chest, as the rest of his body was covered by a comforter. 

_"Anything for my Hyukkie."_ Jaehwan smirked. He walked up to the bed, and sat down next to Sanghyuk.

 

_"Come here. Take off your pants, they must be uncomfortable to sleep in."_  Sanghyuk placed his hand on Jaehwan's thigh to emphasize what he meant. Jaehwan stood up and took off his pants in one swift move. Sanghyuk smiled weakly, his facial expression showing how tired he was. _"Eager?"_

_"Always."_ Jaehwan said, getting into the bed. Sanghyuk cuddled him close, laying his head on his chest. He moved around, trying to find a comfortable position.

_"Take your shirt off. You chest is more comfortable without it."_  Sanghyuk mumbled. Jaehwan did as he was told, and Sanghyuk sighed contentedly. It wasn't long before Jaehwan heard Sanghyuk's breathing even out. He looked down and it confirmed his theory; the younger had fallen asleep. 

 

Jaehwan sometimes forgot how young Sanghyuk was. He was legally an adult, soon to be 21 years old, but still so young. He looked so vulnerable, and Jaehwan just wanted to make sure that nobody would ever hurt him, and that he would always be happy. He was usually more of the silly type, but these things always had him worried. What if something were to happen to his soulmate when he was not there? How awful it would be not to be able to protect the one you love, to have the choice taken out of your hands?

When they first met he had more baby fat, and looked very young, which had Jaehwan worried, but he was growing into a handsome man. Even though his body made him look like an adult, his face was still soft, and he still looked boyish. He smiled as he saw Sanghyuk sniffle in his sleep. He was so cute. He let his head fall back against the pillow, and tried to get some sleep for himself.

 

***

 

Hakyeon was making waffles, and was beginning to wonder if he had made too many. Better too many than too few, he figured. He set the table and prepared the coffee. If this wasn't blackmail enough to get Taekwoon to get out of bed, he didn't know what would. He wandered towards the bedroom.

_"Woonie, it's time to wake up."_ Hakyeon hummed. He thought about how motherly he sounded when he was waking his boyfriend up and shook his head. _"Hey, are you coming or not? The food is warm, and there's a latte for you in the kitchen."_ His patience was wearing thin. Taekwoon was awake now, and he rose his eyebrow.

 

_"Can I get a kiss first?"_ Taekwoon asked smugly. Hakyeon rolled his eyes, but walked over nevertheless. He bent down and kissed his boyfriend. And gave him another. And another. Then he started walking out of the room. 

_"There's more where that came from, at least if you get up."_ Hakeyon gave him a coy smile. Taekwoon rose and put on a bathrobe, as he was currently going commando. Taekwoon caught up to him quickly, and kissed the sensitive area of the shell of his ear, moving down his earlobe and was working towards his jaw when Hakyeon stopped him. _"Food first. I didn't spend all that time in the kitchen for nothing."_

 

_"But I want you now."_ Taekwoon whined. This time he actually did pout.

_"It's probably better we do it later anyway. You get grumpy without food and coffee, and your morning breath isn't the most appetizing thing in the world."_ Hakyeon teased. They went to sit down, and Taekwoon started to eat slowly. His dissatisfied demeanor changed abruptly as he tasted Hakyeon's cooking. 

 

_"Never mind about the lack of sex, I think your cooking may actually be better. This is amazing."_ Taekwoon sighed happily. 

_"I don't know if I should take that as an insult or a compliment."_ Hakyeon concluded. 

_"You are so great at both activities, it's hard to tell which one you're best at. I meant it as a compliment."_ Taekwoon said in between mouthfuls. Hakyeon smiled at his soulmate's silliness.

 

_"I suppose I should, I bake for a living after all."_ Hakyeon grinned. Taekwoon stopped chewing, and looked like he was contemplating his answer. When he had gathered his thoughts, he swallowed his food, making Hakyeon laugh again.

_"To be honest, I must say I'm happy concerning your line of work then. If you had chosen the second activity - not that I wouldn't support you, should you decide to go into sex work - I might have become more possessive than I would like to be."_ Taekwoon reasoned. Hakyeon started giggling and eventually almost choked on his waffle because he was laughing so hard. After a minute, Taekwoon joined him as well.

 

_"You having nothing to worry about in that aspect."_ Hakyeon said once he had calmed himself down enough. _"At least for now, you are the only person I want to sleep with."_ They had both finished their meals during this conversation.

_"Well, when we are on the subject..."_ Taekwoon gave Hakyeon a flirtatious smile, and lead his hand back towards the bedroom.

 

***

 

Three hours had passed since Jaehwan came over to nap with Sanghyuk. Sanghyuk were the one to wake him up this time, and Jaehwan grumbled at the intrusion. 

_"Wake up sleepyhead."_ Sanghyuk said, poking Jaehwan's cheek. Jaehwan's eyes opened lowly, he looked at his giggling boyfriend. 

 

_"You're one to talk."_ He couldn't help but crack a smile. Sanghyuk's smile was adorable. Sanghyuk rose from the bed, and pulled a tank top over his head, not bothering to put on pants, not that Jaehwan minded in the slightest. Jaehwan put his pants back on, but when he tried to put on a shirt, Sanghyuk made a noise of protest. He dropped the shirt and raised his hands in surrender. 

_"I like you better without it. Come on, I feel like having something sweet for breakfast."_ Sanghyuk told him, and took his hand and led him towards the kitchen of his flat. 

 

_"Sweet?"_ Jaehwan asked, raising an eyebrow.

_"Yes. Cupcakes, to be specific"_

_"I see you are going for a nutritional diet. Do you want to call Hakyeon? Maybe he can bring some over."_ Jaehwan said, still trying to shake off his sleepiness.

 

_"I don't want to risk dealing with a sleepy Hakyeon, who knows how long he sleeps on the weekends?"_ Sanghyuk shivered. _"I was thinking we could make some."_

_"I am not exactly the most skilled baker, and you work at the desk."_ Jaehwan commented, giving him a look.

_"I am not that bad! I don't think I could do it professionally like Hakyeon does, but I make very good cupcakes, thank you very much."_

 

***

 

They had now found a fairy simple recipe online, and Sanghyuk was roaming through his kitchen to make sure that they had everything. Jaehwan was sipping on a cup of coffee. He had been wide awake earlier, but now he was just sleepy and mildly grumpy, after napping with Sanghyuk. 

 

_"Jaehwan we need two more eggs. Do you have any?"_ Sanghyuk said, head buried within his fridge. 

_"Sure, but what do I get for going over and getting them?"_ Jaehwan said, rubbing his eyes. Sanghyuk stood up properly and closed the refrigerator just to give him a resigned look.

_"This isn't some cheesy porn intro. You get cupcakes, be happy for that."_ Sanghyuk said, giving him a peck on the lips. _"Now, scoot."_

 

Jaehwan groaned, but got up anyway. He walked quickly, just wanting to get this over with. He left Sanghyuk's flat, went into his own, and got the entire way to the hallway for the second time before he realized he wasn't wearing a shirt. Still, he only noticed because Sanghyuk's next door neighbor happened to walk out of his flat at that very moment, and gave him an odd look. He was dressed for the gym and looked decidedly more awake than Jaehwan felt. 

 

_"Rough night?"_ The neighbor asked. Jaehwan barely noticed because he was trying to remember his name. WonHyuk? WonBin? Not that... All he could remember was that it was Won-something.

_"Well, not particularly. More like rough morning."_ Jaehwan commented without thinking much about it. The neighbor's eyebrows rose in surprise.

_"Okay..."_ He responded, shaking his head a bit. It was a fair reaction, Jaehwan thought, considering it was 10 AM and he had just ran into his shirtless neighbor carrying a carton of eggs.

 

_"Where is Jaehwan with the eggs?"_ Sanghyuk mumbled angrily as he opened his front door only to see the scene in front of him. _"Ah, there you are."_ He commented, not taking much note of his startled neighbor, or the fact that he too, was half naked.

_"Good morning, Sanghyuk."_ The neighbor said, looking them both from head to toe, and shaking his head yet again.

 

_"Oh, hi there Wonshik! Good morning!"_ Sanghyuk said cheerily. _'Wonshik! That was his name!'_ Jaehwan thought. Sanghyuk looked down at his own attire, and made an 'ah' sound when he realized why Wonshik was looking at them so strangely.

_"We were just baking cupcakes, and hadn't bothered to get dressed yet."_ Jaehwan explained, awkwardly running a hand through his hair. 

 

_"Baking cupcakes? It's 10 AM? Who eats cupcakes for breakfast?"_ Wonshik asked, the resigned look seemingly ever present on his face.

_"I told you!"_ Jaehwan said triumphantly, pointing at Sanghyuk. Sanghyuk stuck out his tongue in response.

 

_"Please tell me that is not some strange euphemism. Because if it is I don't want to know."_ Wonshik said, blushing at this point.

_"No, not at all!"_ Sanghyuk laughed, just as Jaehwan said: _"No."_ a bit more bitterly than originally intented. 

_"Okay... Well, I have to hit the gym. Enjoy your, um, cupcake baking."_ Wonshik raised his hand as a goodbye.

 

_"It's not like that I promise!"_ Sanghyuk tried.

_"Sure, kiddo._ " Wonshik said, walking down the hallway as Jaehwan erupted into laughter.

 

***

 

Taekwoon recognized the stark difference between Hakyeon's moods. He had realized it shortly after they met, but it had become more obvious after they moved in together. At daytime, when he was around others, he would be talkative and energetic. When they were alone it was a different story. He would be more timid and quiet, and he always showed his softer side to Taekwoon.Their new flat had a small balcony, placed in the direction of the sunset. Hakyeon would go out there sometimes, and just look at the sky, in complete silence.

_"Are you okay?"_ Taekwoon asked, standing by the balcony door. Today was one of those nights. Hakyeon had been outside on the balcony for about half an hour, just looking at the setting sun.

  
_"I am. I'm just tired, that's all."_ Hakyeon said with a monotone voice. His gaze didn't move from the sky painted in red and purple, that was quickly turning blue. _"I used to sit outside a lot gazing at the sky, just thinking, but lately I have started to love it even more. Looking at the colours relaxes me."_

Taekwoon contemplated the answer. The sky was lovely tonight, and the colours were sublime, he would not deny that. He thought he just might not appreciate the colours in the same way Hakyeon did.  He walked forwards, wrapping his arms around Hakyeon's middle, and rested his head on his shoulder.

 

_"I'll stay with you tonight. I don't want you to get cold."_ Taekwoon whispered softly. Hakyeon finally cracked a smile. He rested his hands on top of Taekwoon's. He was only wearing a light cardigan over a thin t-shirt and jeans, and the wind tonight had picked up. Hakyeon sighed contentedly at the added body heat.

_"Thank you for always taking care of me."_ Hakyeon mumbled. Taekwoon kissed his cheek in response. Taekwoon was not the most vocal of people, but he always made Hakyeon feel wanted. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> I managed to not take forever to publish this update! It's a miracle! I decided to make this a mostly fluffy, domestic update. (PS: I was supposed to write HyuKen actually baking cupcakes, but it was just a golden oppurtunity to introduce Wonshik) The next chapter is a bit more important for the story's progression. Speaking of, I have most of the next chapter typed out already, so I can try to get it published towards the weekend, but I don't want to promise anything.
> 
> What did you think? I love to hear your responses, so don't be afraid to comment. If you find any typos or have any complaints about how I write the characters, don't be afraid to tell me that either. I live for comments, and they are my favourite thing about writing fics.
> 
> Love you lots, I'll try to update soon ♥


	5. Too late to die young

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 2119  
> Rating: PG-13/R  
> A/N: I may have been listening to "In Heaven" by JYJ whilst writing most of this chapter. I'm sorry.

_"Didn't you mention that there was a nice crêpe place near the library?"_ Hakyeon asked. The two lovers were about to leave for work, and Taekwoon looked up from his selection of which trousers to wear today, to look at his boyfriend.

 _"Yeah, how come?"_ He asked. He picked out a pair of navy jeans that matched his light blue shirt with navy details. He held it up, and Hakyeon nodded in approval.

 

 _"I was thinking, you always come to the bakery for lunch. Although all my pastries are delicious, I was wondering if we should maybe switch it up, at least for a day. According to my calendar, we have been together for 250 days today. Maybe we can celebrate?"_ Hakyeon smiled, and wrapped his arms around Taekwoon. He had always thought small anniversaries should be celebrated as much as the large ones.

 

 _"250 days, has it been that long already? With you, it feels like no time has passed at all."_ Taekwoon kissed Hakyeon's cheek. Hakyeon smiled. _"Fine, as much as I adore anything you bake, maybe we can try something new, although cr_ _êpes aren't the most substantial lunch."_

He only received a look in return that told him just how much Hakyeon cared that crêpes were unhealthy. Taekwoon laughed.

 

***

 

Hakyeon texted Taekwoon that he was leaving the bakery now. They were lucky in that they could both decide when they could go for lunch, so they could go together. He received a "Can't wait. Hurry please." with a kissing emoji at the end. Hakyeon simply shook his head. Taekwoon was super cute, yet he would never admit that. 

He put his earplugs in, and started walking. He was listening to Jonghyun's new album, as he had been a lot lately. He didn't spend that much time just by himself, and while he was, he realized he maybe should. He adored Taekwoon with all his heart, but sometimes it was all right to be alone for a minute or two. Just him and the music, at peace. He walked like he didn't have a care in the world, and he felt completely relaxed. The music was lovely against his ears. The beats giving a soundtrack to each of his steps. 

 

The bakery and the library was relatively close by. It was within a walking distance, but if he took the subway one stop, he could get there much quicker. He walked peacefully by himself, and took a moment to glance down at the circle tattoo at his wrist. He felt lucky. The sapphire blue colour shone bright in the sunlight. 

He got off the subway, and by now he was two more songs into the album. He was about to cross the road, and he closed his eyes as he stretched his arms upwards. It was a lovely day, and the sun was shining bright in the sky.

 

When he opened his eyes he thought he saw the light turn green and started to cross. The road looked relatively empty anyway. His mind was so occupied with the song he was listening to and the thought of seeing Taekwoon, that he didn't see the car headed towards him at full speed. In one moment he could hear the song playing from his earplugs, but suddenly everything stopped. He felt a huge impact, and suddenly he couldn't feel anything. He closed his eyes and the only thing he could see was his beloved's face. 

 

***

 

Taekwoon had just finished texting Hakyeon back, and now he could just wait. There were a set of benches outside the library, he could wait there. It was a lovely day and the sun was shining. He had started to appreciate sunny days more after he met Hakyeon. The way the sunlight made each colour around them more vivid, and it seemed to help on people's moods as well. What he loved the most though was the way the sunlight made Hakyeon sun-kissed skin look, or how his eyes would shine, making shades of gold and bronze protrude through the deep brown colour of his eyes. .

He saw Jaehwan walking his way, and he waved at him. Jaehwan came to join him at the bench he was sitting on, nodding a greeting.

 

 _"Hey Taek. What are your lunch plans today? Usually you would be on your way to Hakyeon's right now."_ Jaehwan asked, using his hand to shelter his eyes against the sun.

 _"He's coming here. He wanted to try out the new crêpe_ _place nearby. It's our 250 days' anniversary, so we thought we should celebrate."_ Taekwoon said. Jaehwan smiled at that. Taekwoon had become a lot cheerier the past months, and it was nice to see him finally opening up.

 

 _"Sanghyuk and I went there once. The crêpes are really nice. I would not have pegged you as the type to care that much about anniversaries though."_ Jaewhan commented.

 _"I'm not really. I care more about the bigger anniversaries. Hakyeon loves having a reason to celebrate though, and it matters a lot to him. I'd do anything to please him."_ Taekwoon shrugged. He loved spending time with Hakyeon, but the other was a tad more creative than he was, so it was nice to change the habits they put upon themselves. Jaehwan looked up to the sky.

 

Jaehwan had gotten distracted by how nice everything looked today, when out of nowhere he heard an ear-splitting scream. He looked at the source of the sound to find Taekwoon on the ground, holding his head in his hands. Jaehwan moved quickly, and sat down next to him.

 _"What's wrong? What happened?"_ Jaehwan asked frantically. He noticed the tears in Taekwoon's eyes, but at least he stopped screaming.

 _"The colours started fading. I can't see properly. Everything is monochrome again. My head feels like it's going to explode, and my wrist hurts a lot too. I don't know what happened."_ Taekwoon's voice was pained. Jaehwan had a theory, but he really didn't want it to be true. Taekwoon was groaning in pain, and Jaehwan had no idea what to do. He had to ask.

 

 _"Taekwoon, when was the last time you talked to Hakyeon? Do you know where he is?"_ Jaehwan asked, taking a deep breath.

 _"I texted him a little while a go. He should be here any minute."_ Taekwoon said. He looked like he was thinking really hard, as the pained expression was hard to break through. _"Do you think anything happened to him?"_ Taekwoon spoke in between breaths. It didn't sound like he was breathing properly.

 _"I just thought, sometimes people get diseases where they lose their colour vision, but that is extremely rare. The only time you hear about someone losing their colour vision is when..."_ Jaehwan paused. This was so hard to say. He had known Hakyeon about as long as he had known Sanghyuk, and he really didn't want to be the person to tell Taekwoon his soulmate had died.

 

 _"He isn't dead, he can't be! He was just on his way here. He is probably right around the corner!"_ Taekwoon said, voice panicked. He was crying now, properly this time, and he was starting to hyperventilate. Jaehwan was wiping away tears from his eyes.

 _"Show me your wrist. Please,Taekwoon. There might still be time."_ Jaehwan commanded, and the other obliged. He gave Jaehwan his arm, and Jaehwan wiped a tear from his eye. The circle on Taekwoon's wrist had turned from bright gold to black as the midnight sky, the same shade everyone is born with. The colour was also fading, quite quickly he should probably add.

 

 _"The circle is there, but it has turned black, and it's fading. He is still alive, but he is dying. I'm so sorry, Taekwoon."_ Jaehwan said as he felt himself choke up. The tears had dried from his eyes, and he could only panic. Taekwoon was shaking with sobs. _"Come on, get up. We have to find him. Maybe it's not too late. I know what way he takes to get here. Come on."_ Jaehwan pulled Taekwoon up by his arm. They ran down the street, the same way Hakyeon always took when he wanted to get to their street. They ran for three blocks before they saw it, and he heard Taekwoon's scream again.

 

Hakyeon was lying in front of a car, bleeding heavily. The driver was panicking, asking lots of questions. Hakyeon looked like he was still alive, but barely. The driver told Jaehwan that he had called for paramedics, and that he was so sorry. He continued apologizing and talking, but to Jaehwan it was like someone had put him on mute. He was asking who Hakyeon was, and if he knew him. Jaehwan replied just to shut the other man up.

 _"His name is Cha Hakyeon. He is my friend. He is my friend over there's soulmate."_ Jaehwan said, all emotion had left his voice. He felt like an empty shell. _"It was an accident, I get it. Please stop apologizing. You're not helping."_ Jaehwan gazed upon the two lovers. They had been so perfect for each other. Why did it have to end like this?

 

Taekwoon could barely see at all with how much he was crying. He sat down next to Hakyeon's body. Hakyeon was breathing rapidly. He had his eyes open.

 _"W-Woonie?"_ Hakyeon whispered out. His voice was raspy and sore, and he had lots of trouble speaking, or moving at all. 

 _"I'm here dearest, I'm here. Breathe for me please. I can't lose you, I only just found you."_ Taekwoon said. His chest was aching, and his wrist and head continued pounding. His colour vision continued flickering between monochrome and polychrome. 

 _"Don't cry."_ Hakyeon whispered. Even when he was dying, he wanted to take care of him. This just made Taekwoon cry harder. He knew that Hakyeon was too badly injured to live, the wound was too large, and there was so much blood. Polychrome, monochrome, it continued to shift. In the moments he could see colour, he could see how red everything was. The street was covered in blood, and Hakyeon was essentially torn apart. The front of the car was dyed in his dearest's blood as well, and his own clothes were starting to stain. 

 

 _"I love you, so much. I love you more than I can even say."_ Taekwoon paused, swallowing a lump in his throat. _"Please, smile and tell me this is all a bad dream."_

 _"I can't. I love you."_ Hakyeon stuttered out. His breaths were uneven, and for a lack of a better word, he sounded broken. _"It h-hurts."_

 _"I wish I could take away your pain. I'm sorry. The paramedics will be here soon. Please stay alive at least until then."_ Taekwoon wished. Hakyeon didn't speak, but he could see it in his face. He was trying his best, but it wasn't working. His love would die soon. _"If you must, let go. If the pain is too great, let go. It's okay. I love you."_

It had been the hardest thing he ever had to say in his life. He didn't want to let go. He didn't want Hakyeon to let go. Taekwoon was currently being forced to realize that sometimes in life, you simply had no choice. It was like everything he loved in his life was being torn from him. He looked at Hakyeon, and his beautiful, blood-stained face.

 

Hakyeon smiled at him, a faint smile, before his face went slack. His eyes were still open. Taekwoon felt a burning sensation on his wrist, and his world returned to monochrome, like it would stay forever for him. He watched the light disappear from Hakyeon's eyes, and he closed them for him. He kissed his forehead. Just as he managed to whisper another "I love you" he heard the sound of the ambulance, right around the corner.

Taekwoon looked at the corpse of his beloved with a raw pain gaping inside of him. It was the kind of pain which he knew would never subside; cruel and torturous, like he was bared to all the cruelties of the world within one single moment. The ambulance had stopped and the paramedics were running towards them. He didn't want to let him go. He cradled the last piece of Hakyeon in his arms; his beat up body was all that was left. His spirit, his smile, his laughter; it had all passed within the last minute, never to return. The dark gray substance of his blood was everywhere. He felt helpless. The paramedics finally got him to release his hold, so they could check the damage. He was declared dead at 12:17 PM. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone,
> 
> I will assume that when you are reading this you are either really mad at me, or just sad. I'm sorry. I tried giving a warning by marking this story as angst, but I see why you would be upset, considering this may have felt like it was out of nowhere. 
> 
> I'm sorry to anyone that hoped for Neo to have a happy ending.
> 
> What did you think? I love to hear your responses, so don't be afraid to comment. Feel free to yell at me in the comment section below. If you find any typos or have any complaints about how I write the characters, don't be afraid to tell me that either. I live for comments, and they are my favourite thing about writing fics.
> 
> Love you lots, I'll try to update soon ♥


	6. The grief in your wake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 2574  
> Rating: PG-13

 

Taekwoon entered his and Hakyeon's flat late at night. The walls he had once viewed in different shades of pastel were now grey and cold. All the warmth of the previously homely flat had evaporated, and everything felt cold and hopeless. After the paramedics arrived, earlier in the day, Hakyeon had been declared dead, and his body had been taken away to a morgue. Afterwards, he was given the task to plan his lover's funeral. They had left him alone, when they realised he needed space before even considering anything of the like.

Jaehwan had been with him for most of it, and he was thankful for the other. He had even gone home, and gotten him a change of clothes, as some of his were stained with blood. Jaehwan had walked him home, to make sure that he managed to walk. He had cried a lot during the day, but now he simply felt drained and empty. After making sure that he managed to get inside, Jaehwan left. In the wake of Hakyeon's death Jaehwan felt the need to go home, hold Sanghyuk close, and appreciate what he had. Losing your soulmate was a pain almost unimaginable, and Jaehwan needed to feel like his relationship was safe. They all needed to grieve. It's not like Taekwoon could blame him. 

 

Taekwoon walked like a cursed man. His legs felt like they were made of lead, and he was weary with grief. He stood in the opening of their bedroom door, holding himself up with a grip on the door frame. His eyes were dry and painful, and the raw pain in his chest just seemed to grow. He looked at the bedroom, their bedroom. The little details that made it theirs was painful to look at. The book Hakyeon had been reading next one of his many scented candles that were spread around the flat, their two wardrobes, their bathrobes that was hanging at the wall next to one another, the bed sheets that Hakyeon had picked out for them. It was like a memory that was never supposed to be a memory. Too vivid, too recent, too intense. 

 

One of Hakyeon's hoodies were laying on the bed. He had worn it yesterday, while they were watching a movie together, and this morning before he got dressed. Taekwoon lifted the hoodie and held it close. He breathed in the scent. It still smelled like Hakyeon. He let his shirt drop to the floor and put it on. It had always been a bit large on Hakyeon, so it fit him fine. Taekwoon was desperately trying to imprint his scent on his skin, so that he would never forget what he smelled like. His scent was almost overpowering, and Taekwoon sank to the floor, crying once more. 

 

How could he be gone? He was just here. And in one moment, he was destroyed and he was gone forever. Taekwoon wished he could blame the person who ran him over. Had it been intentional, he might have. While at the scene, he got a look at the man. He was panicked and upset, and had probably never wanted to hurt anyone. There was no one to blame in this situation. It was just awful.

As his vision flickered between colours, he noticed the driver had a completed circled tattoo on his wrist, one in a deep shade of teal. He had someone whom he loved, someone made for him as well. Taekwoon could imagine the driver had contemplated the possibility of his soulmate dying as well. After feeling this pain for almost a day, he decided he would not wish this on his worst enemy. 

After taking off his pants he laid down on the bed like that, surrounded by the scent of the man that always made him feel safe and at home. He let the tears flow, and fell asleep. 

 

***

 

Jaehwan was on his way home. He couldn't stop thinking of how haunted Taekwoon had looked, or how bloody Hakyeon's death had been. Flashes of Hakyeon's body in the streets flooded through his mind as well. He couldn't imagine the pain that Taekwoon was going through, and still he had his own grief to deal with. Hakyeon had been a kind friend, and he had been very supportive and kind, albeit somewhat annoyed, at his and Sanghyuk's relationship. He had known Hakyeon for almost as long as he had known Hakyeon, and he lit up every room he entered, and was always helpful and accountable. He hadn't deserved to die like that.

 

Jaehwan stood in front of his front door. He knew Sanghyuk was probably here. He called him earlier to inform him about the situation. He had wanted to see him earlier, but Taekwoon needed him more today. After he had called Sanghyuk he had to call Hakyeon's best friend Hongbin. Taekwoon was supposed to do it, but he couldn't gather himself enough at that time. He had met Hongbin a couple of times, but he didn't know him properly. He explained why he was the one calling, and Hongbin understood. Jaehwan thought he heard Hongbin cry, but he didn't comment. Jaehwan rubbed his face with his hands, before he entered the flat.

The first thing he saw when he opened the door was Sanghyuk. The younger man was sitting on his couch in his pajamas, wrapped in one of Jaehwan's blankets. His eyes were bloodshot and puffy. He looked so young and so lost, and it was painful to see the usually confident and happy boy in this state. He heard the TV playing in the background. When Sanghyuk spotted him he ran over and hugged him close. Without words, Sanghyuk made sure to close the door behind them. They stood like that for a while. Holding each other, quiet.

 

_"I can't believe it. How can something like this happen?"_ Sanghyuk mumbled. _"I mean, I just saw him today. He was here. How could he disappear so quickly? And why did he have to die like that?"_ Sanghyuk sobbed. Jaehwan wasn't sure what to say. He could usually cheer Sanghyuk up, but this time, he had no idea what to do. 

_"I know, I can't really wrap my head around it either. Sometimes the universe takes people away from us much sooner than they deserved."_ Jaehwan said. His voice was raspy, and he was close to choking up himself.

 

_"I'm sorry darling, I just miss him so much."_ Sanghyuk kissed his cheek and lead him over to the sofa. Some Pixar movie was playing on the TV. 

_"Don't apologize. I understand. You need to grieve, we all do."_ Jaehwan said. They snuggled up on the sofa, Sanghyuk holding around Jaehwan's arm so he could rest his head on his shoulder even if he was a bit taller than Jaehwan. 

_"I needed to watch something lighthearted, but the first thing I found was "Up". Kids movies deal with some really serious stuff."_ Sanghyuk sniffled. _"I suppose it is fitting though."_

 

_"I love you."_ Jaehwan said bluntly. He turned to Sanghyuk. _"I know I have said it many times before, but after today, I need you to really know how much I mean it. I love you so much and I'm the luckiest man in the world, because I have you."_

_"I love you too. More than I can ever express in words."_ He replied, voice soft _. "I hope I never have to lose you."_

_"Don't say things like that. You won't lose me."_ Jaehwan assured. He didn't want to think about any of this. If he lost Sanghyuk, he was sure he couldn't live on, but he really didn't want to tell Sanghyuk that, at least not when he was in this state. It made him wonder how Taekwoon was doing. He really shouldn't be alone. He didn't he could leave yet though. He would check up on him later. 

 

***

 

The next morning Taekwoon opened his eyes blearily. He had a moment of tranquillity before he noticed the tear stains on his pillow, the lack of warmth on the other side of the bed, and the hoodie he was wearing. He closed his eyes again. He didn't want to remember. He didn't want this to be his reality. His heart felt incomplete, and he just wanted it to stop. Sadly, it didn't. He couldn't fall asleep either. Every time he closed his eyes he saw Hakyeon's mauled body. He tried to get the image out of his head, and focus on the happy Hakyeon, the kind Hakyeon, the breathing Hakyeon. It was as if the image had burned itself into his mind, to lay at rest forever. 

He stood up, blinking slowly. His thoughts were racing, and they were not kind towards him. He just wanted to numb himself down, at least for a little while. He walked into the kitchen, and started browsing through the cabinets. The only hard liquor they had was vodka. They only bought it because of some cocktail that Hakyeon attempted to make one time. Hakyeon's excellent culinary skills didn't shine through on this particular experiment. Taekwoon smiled a little at the memory.

 

He poured himself a glass and walked into the living room. He could flip through the channels, see if he found anything mindless to watch. He took a swig, the liquor burning his throat. It matched the rest of his mood, so he didn't mind.

He turned on the TV, ending up at some thoughtless reality show. In front of their sofa stood a little wooden table, and it was mainly used to put books, wineglasses and other stuff on, while they watched TV together. Scattered on the table were many of Hakyeon's pens and a couple of felt tip pens, as well as his notebook. Hakyeon had a habit of drawing, or making notes, and just scribbling with all the different colours. He had even marked all of them with the name of the exact shade, to help him remember.  He picked up the one labelled "gold ❤️" and looks at his now bare wrist, before he draws a circle, where his soul mark used to be. He downed the rest of his glass, this was getting depressing.

 

***

 

Jaehwan woke up the next morning with his head feeling heavy. Sanghyuk was cuddled up to him, his arm around Jaehwan's torso.  Yet again, his thoughts wandered to Taekwoon. He felt really bad about leaving him behind last night. He should probably go check on him. He looked at the clock beside his bed, it showed 10:30 AM. It was a Saturday, so he didn't have work today. He knew Taekwoon had a shift today, but he wasn't likely to go. He rose from the bed slowly. 

_"Where are you going?"_ Sanghyuk asked. Damn, he had hoped not to wake him.

 

_"I need to check on Taekwoon. He looked pretty bad, and I need to make sure that he's alright."_ Sanghyuk said, his back turned to Sanghyuk as he stood in the doorway. Of course he wasn't alright, his soulmate just died. He just needed to see that Taekwoon was still alive. He might have drunk himself stupid and done something irrational. 

_"Do you really need to leave?"_ Sanghyuk sounded hurt.

_"He's my best friend, Hyukkie."_ He didn't know what else to say.

_"Give him my best wishes."_ Sanghyuk mumbled, and laid back down. He hoped Sanghyuk understood. He left to shower. They could discuss this later.

 

Once he was dressed, he checked on Sanghyuk, who had fallen back asleep. Jaehwan worried for him. Not just because he'd lost his coworker and one of his closest friends, but also because seeing Hakyeon dead in the streets reminded him of how easily he could lose him. A soulmate was both an amazing and a horrible thing. You were presented with this person that was perfect for you, but people were fragile. Every day could be your last, and it was absolutely terrifying. 

He made it over to Taekwoon's flat. He had been given a spare key at some point, for emergencies, and he opened the door. The first thing he heard was the buzz from the TV, meaning Taekwoon was probably awake. 

 

When he came into the living room he found it empty. He heard a noise from the kitchen, and decided to check there as well. What he saw wasn't exactly what he was hoping. Taekwoon was sitting on his kitchen floor, leaned up against some cabinets. He was alive, but he looked, for lack of a better word, shitfaced. He was only wearing his black boxer-briefs as well as a red hoodie. It was faded from overuse, but it didn't strike him as something Taekwoon would buy. It was probably one of Hakyeon's. There was a half-empty vodka bottle next to him, that was probably the explanation for his disheveled appearance.

 

_"Jaehwan, where did you come from?"_ Taekwoon said. He looked understandably confused as he squinted at him. Jaehwan glanced at the clock. 11:16 AM. Not really the best time to get drunk.

_"I let myself in, I hope that's alright? I just wanted to check on you."_ He said softly, slowly moving closer.

 

_"Oh, I'm grand."_ Taekwoon said, with a smile that didn't reach his eyes. Jaehwan noted the gold circle that he had drawn on his wrist. Jesus, he looked really fucked up _. "Jaehwan, can you do something for me?"_ Taekwoon asked. His voice sounded lost and helpless. 

_"What do you need?"_ Jaehwan sat down next to him.

_"Can you please tell me this is just a bad dream? I keep imagining him coming home, greeting me in the cheerful way he always did. I had to move away from the living room, because I kept seeing him walk through that door."_ Jaehwan paused. His friend sounded so broken, and he really wanted to help. 

 

_"I wish I could, and I wish it had been true. But to lie to you and say it was all a dream would be more cruel than it would be helpful."_

_"I guess."_ He slurred. _"I don't know how I'm supposed to go on."_

 

_"I can't tell you how, but you please do. So many people in your life love you deeply, and even though I would understand, I really wish you would continue fighting. What would Hakyeon have wanted?"_ Jaehwan needed Taekwoon to hear this. He couldn't emphasize enough how much he couldn't deal with another of his friends dying.

_"He would have wanted to live."_ Taekwoon said decisively. It was the least slurred thing he had said all morning, and it made a chill run down his back. _"I don't know what to live for, or how to live, without the picture of him haunting me."_

 

_"I think, in some shape or form, it always will. You should live on for your friends, your family, your job, to honor the memory of Hakyeon. I am not saying it will be easy in any way, and some nights will be rougher than others. Some nights, all you can do, is lay in bed and hope you fall asleep before you fall apart. But you will live. You don't have to let this kill you both."_ Jaehwan said clearly. Taekwoon didn't respond for a while.

_"What kind of life would that be?"_ He asked. This time it was Jaehwan's turn to be silent. He had no answer.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> Man, this chapter was painful to write. The plot will be moving forwards after this chapter, but I felt it would be rude to Hakyeon's character to not have a chapter to mourn him. 
> 
> What did you think? I love to hear your responses, so don't be afraid to comment. Feel free to leave your rants, emotions, and everything else for me to read. If you find any typos or have any complaints about how I write the characters, don't be afraid to tell me that either. I live for comments, and they are my favourite thing about writing fics.
> 
> Love you lots, I'll try to update soon ♥


	7. I felt you deeper than the pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 2673  
> Rating: PG

Hongbin was lying in his bed, looking at his ceiling. It was two days after Hakyeon's death and he was starting to count the minutes that had passed since. He couldn't seem to think about anything else than Hakyeon. He had spent the past days crying, feeling foggy and tired. It wasn't the first time he had lost someone. He lost his grandmother when he was younger, but this felt nothing like it. It was like someone had ripped a hole in his chest, and it wasn't healing. He was tired, and he just wanted his friend back. Usually when he felt shitty, he would talk to Hakyeon, but that wasn't really an option anymore. Hakyeon had been his safe haven. He would never judge him, or not a lot at least, for his issues. He felt so separated from the rest of the world, because they all looked so happy. So many of them found their soulmates early in life, and those that had not yet found them, didn't seem to antagonize so much over it. 

 

 _"Hakyeon, please come back. I need someone to vent to, to understand me, to be there for me. I need you. Sanghyuk needs you, he's just a kid. Taekwoon needs you, so ridiculously much."_ Hongbin mumbled to himself. He sighed.

He wanted to lie there forever, but he felt somewhat gross. His hair was oily, he couldn't be bothered to shower yesterday, and his breath smelled of the pasta he had forced himself to eat the day before. He couldn't fade into nothingness, and wash away like waves at a beach. He had to live, because Hakyeon didn't get the chance to. Hakyeon would probably slap him if he could see him right now.

 

After a shower and a reluctant meal, Hongbin left his flat. He wasn't really sure what to do, so he started walking. He was caught up in his own thoughts, and suddenly he found himself at the subway, headed towards the park he and Hakyeon used to go to, the one they were at just days before he met Taekwoon. He had in the very least brought his camera with him. He might see something new there. 

After walking through the park for a while he stopped to take some pictures. Beside one of the trees there was a bed of lilies. In front of the spot there was a metal fence, that was covered in vines, and the fence separated the trees from the path. It all looked very picturesque. 

 

 _"It's really beautiful here, don't you think?"_ A voice interrupted his stream of thoughts. Hongbin looked up to find the owner of the voice. The voice was rough, but not in a frightening way. It was not as smooth as Taekwoon's, and it was rather deep. Something drew him towards that voice. It was like something laid underneath it, a magnetic pull drawing him closer.

When he looked up he saw the face of a man about his age. He had dark hair, longer at the top and shaved at one of the sides. He had beautiful tan skin, and he looked rather muscular.

 

 _"Yeah, I used to come here a lot with this friend of mine. It is the perfect place to take pictures."_ Hongbin replied, looking at the handsome stranger.

 _"I suppose it is. I think I might enjoy photography more once I can see colour, at least those outside the monochrome spectrum."_ The man spoke quietly this time, like he was telling him a dreadful secret. Maybe he was, not having found your soulmate wasn't exactly something people took pride in.

 

 _"I understand. I take pictures to preserve anything beautiful I see, so that I don't miss out on a moment, just because I can't see the full spectrum of colour yet."_ Hongbin smiled. 

 _"Really? That is fascinating. The most fascinating thing though, is that you let it slip that a breathtaking man like you, is somehow still single. Or in the very least, still lacking a soulmate."_ The man smiled. The handsome man extended his hand towards him. _"My name is Kim Wonshik. What is yours, if you don't mind me asking?"_

 

 _"Lee Hongbin, pleasure to meet you."_ Hongbin said, as he extended his hand. Once their palms touched each other in what should have been a friendly handshake, he felt it. It was similar to what Hakyeon had described, just stronger than he could ever have imagined. It was like an explosion behind his eyes, but it wasn't painful. He felt himself heat up, and suddenly nothing was wrong in the world. For a short moment in time, he could pretend like it wasn't.

 

He looked down at the tattoo on his wrist, which had turned into a full circle. He had no idea what the colour was called, but it was the same shade as the trees, which he could recall Hakyeon telling him were green, just warmer and homier. A strong colour, but not harsh, or too bright. Just perfect. 

 _"I c-can't believe it. Is this a dream?"_ Wonshik said incredulously. He was looking at the world around him with bewilderment in his eyes, and only then did Hongbin notice the people around them applauding. When a two soulmates find each other, and touch for the very first time there is not just an emotional reaction. Supposedly, the space around them turns golden for a couple of minutes, sealing them together in a protective aura. Hongbin drew a deep breath. It had been a busy day, and there were a lot of them, and Hongbin felt overwhelmed. Wonshik noticed the look in his eyes, and signaled for the crowd to stop.

 

 _"Let's walk, to somewhere a bit more quiet, okay?"_ Wonshik spoke softly. Hongbin nodded, and they started walking. Hongbin felt really strange. He was happy, to an almost insane level, but he was also suddenly really upset, and he could just think back to that phone call he had with Jaehwan when he first found out his best friend was dead.

 _"Are you okay?"_ Wonshik spoke softly, trying to avoid frightening him. They sat down on a bench.

 _"I'm f-"_ Hongbin stopped himself. _"No, I'm not fine. On one hand I'm super happy that I found you, and everything feels amazing and safe and perfect; but on another I feel like I want to roll up into a ball and cry."_ Wonshik processed this for a moment.

 

 _"Is it because of me?"_ He asked, swallowing nervously. Just hearing him ask that question broke Hongbin's heart, and he hugged his soulmate close.

 _"It's not you, I promise. You are the most wonderful soulmate I could ever ask for."_ He tried to reassure the other man.

 

 _"You don't even know me."_ Wonshik said, looking at the ground.

 _"Well, I like what I have seen thus far. I would like to see more, to get to know you, if you would let me."_ Hongbin asked, threading carefully. For most people this was the best moment of their life, and no one wanted to hear something like that right afterwards. He just met Wonshik at a bad time.

 

 _"Fine, sure. What is the problem then?"_ Wonshik asked, concerned eyes scanning Hongbin like they were looking for whatever the problem was.

 _"Remember I told you I used to come here a lot with a friend of mine?"_ Hongbin started. Wonshik merely nodded, signaling him to continue. _"He died, two days ago. I didn't see him die, but I talked to one of the people that did. It was awful. I even talked to Taekwoon, his soulmate. It made me afraid of the soulmate system. Just seeing how absolutely devastated he was, it made me afraid. You get connected to this one person that you love unconditionally, because the universe decided so, and you have to deal with all the pain that life can throw your way. So, not only am I grieving, but I am afraid."_

 

Wonshik looked Hongbin intensely, and pondered the information. His eyes were warm and kind, and Hongbin felt safer just looking into them. 

 _"I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like he meant a lot to you."_ Wonshik said, taking Hongbin's hand in his.

_"He was my best friend. I'm sorry I just babbled and dumped all this information on you."_

_"No, I'm glad you told me. I don't want to see you suffer, but if that is impossible, I at least would like to know why. Don't worry, I'm not going to let anything happen to you. Or myself for that matter."_

_"You don't know that."_ Hongbin smiled sadly. He wanted o badly to be able to relish in the joy of finding his soulmate, but he simply couldn't. It was all so wrong.

 _"No, I don't. Although, I would rather like to pretend that I do. Life is unpredictable, but I will be with you every step of the way. At least, every step that you will allow me to take with you."_ Wonshik smiled, and Hongbin did too. The first proper smile he had in what felt like a long time.

 

***

 

Taekwoon was sitting by himself at a coffee shop. Even though the grief was still very much present, and weighed down his heart, he had been able to get out of bed this morning. He needed to distance himself a bit from the closest people in his life, so he had chosen a cafe on the other side of town. He needed to get away, think, and to recharge himself. Tomorrow was Hakyeon's funeral, and even though the mere thought of it made him want to die, he had to be there. He had to honour Hakyeon, one last time. 

 

It was a lovely day in early spring. The sun was shining, and the wind was rustling softly through the trees. It was strange. Hakyeon had died less than a week ago, and he was already so alone. He had his friends, his family, but it didn't seem to matter, none of it did.

He was still furious and devastated, but he had finally managed to keep a calm exterior, do he could walk amongst people once more. He wasn't okay, far from it, but he needed to get out. To see for himself that there really still was a world outside the door of him and Hakyeon's flat. Or, it wasn't really their flat anymore. It was his flat. He didn't think he could ever get used to that thought.

 

He was wearing a white shirt, and a sweater over it that he remembered to be pastel blue. He had matched it one of his jeans that he thought was dark blue and black shoes. He brought a book with him, and it was lying on the table. It was The Great Gatsby. It had been one of Hakyeon's favourite books, and he would read it again and again. It was an old copy, one Hakyeon had bought when he was younger. It was really worn, but it reminded him of Hakyeon, so he didn't mind.

He looked longingly at the couples around him, walking hand in hand, talking softly in between themselves. He tried to drown his envious heart, but it kept finding some way to survive. These people were living blissfully, in love with the person the universe decided was perfect for them. Most of them would not even consider the possibility that death and loss was lurking right around the corner, as they should. Taekwoon wished for each and every one of these people to be happy, and not worry about the sort of scenario that happened to him. He wouldn't even wish this upon his worst enemy. 

 

 _"Can I sit here?"_ The voice of a woman stopped his train of thought. Taekwoon looked up at her. She looked older, but she wasn't old, so to speak. She had to be somewhere between fifty or sixty, if he were to guess. She was dressed nice and elegant, and she had a warm smile on her face.

_"Yes, of course. Sorry, I wasn't paying attention."_

 

 _"You were miles away. I know the feeling. Sometimes it feels nice to disappear from reality for a minute."_ The woman's voice was gentle like silk.

 _"Sometimes, I guess. Sometimes you might end up lost."_ Taekwoon replied, closing his book.

 

_"Hmm. My name is Misook, by the way. Sorry if I'm intruding, you looked so sad. You look conflicted and without hope."_

_"I'm Taekwoon. Don't worry, you're not intruding. I suppose I am. I have a big day tomorrow, a truly dreadful one. I needed to think, and collect myself, if I can ever be ready for such an event."_ Taekwoon wasn't sure why he was telling this to a woman he just met, but it felt good, to talk to someone who doesn't have an agenda in his life.

 

 _"If you don't mind me asking, what happens tomorrow?"_ She asked carefully. Taekwoon was wondering whether to tell her or not, but figured he had nothing to lose. 

 _"It is my soulmate's funeral."_ He said simply. The woman took one of his hands in her own, trying to comfort him. _"It doesn't even feel real."_ Taekwoon said, void of emotion.

 

 _"I am not going to lie. Tomorrow is going to be awful, but you will get through it. I am the proof you can live on, even after something like that."_ She said, a slight tremble in her voice. Taekwoon gulped. This woman had lost her soulmate as well. She knew the pain he was going through.

 _"I am sorry for your loss. Did you lose your soulmate too?"_ Taekwoon asked, he had to be sure. Misook smiled sadly.

 

 _"Yes. She died fifteen years ago. I only got to experience five years with her, but she was the best five years of my life. It was like she was always glowing, like an angel that had blessed me with her existence. After our 4th year together, the doctors found out she had Stage 5 cancer. There was no stopping the poison within her."_ Misook sighed, shaking her head.

 _"Sometimes the best people leave the quickest. I got a little less than a year with my soulmate. He was wonderful. He lit up every dark part of my life, and made me feel complete. I don't know if I am ever going to feel anything like that again."_ Taekwoon paused. His eyes were beginning to hurt, but he would not cry in public. He didn't want other people to see how broken he was. _"He was hit by a car. It was an accident, and no one involved meant for it to happen. I don't even have anyone to hate for this, it was just fate."_

 

 _"I am sorry you received so little time with him. He sounds lovely. You have a rough couple of years in front of you. Some nights you just have to hope you fall asleep, before you fall apart. Although, if you keep the memory of him safe in your heart, he will never truly leave you."_ Misook said comfortingly. Taekwoon looked out at the scenery. The people, the nice weather, the soft wind that caressed his face. 

 _"I'm just wondering, Misook, why are you telling me this?"_ Taekwoon asked earnestly.

 

_"Because you looked sad. I noticed your bare wrist earlier, when you were reading in your book. I needed you to know you are not alone, because I know how lonely it can feel, when you lose someone you love."_

_"Thank you. I do feel better. It's so hard to talk about with others, because most of them haven't experienced it, and it is a difficult concept to understand completely as an outsider."_ Taekwoon shook her hand. _"I think I need to get home now, but it was nice talking to you."_

 _"I wish you luck for tomorrow. I think you're going to need it."_ She smiled sadly again, and waved him goodbye.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> I finally found somewhere to introduce Ravi! I have been looking for a spot for him to meet Hongbin since the start, but I felt now was the time. I am thinking that next chapter is going to be Hakyeon's funeral, so prepare for that. It's about to get really heartbreaking.
> 
> What did you think? I love to hear your responses, so don't be afraid to comment. Feel free to leave your rants, emotions, and everything else for me to read. If you find any typos or have any complaints about how I write the characters, don't be afraid to tell me that either. I live for comments, and they are my favourite thing about writing fics.
> 
> Love you lots, I'll try to update soon ♥


	8. Find what you love, and let it kill you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 2761
> 
> Rating: PG/PG-13
> 
> A/N: I should probably give some warnings. There will be mentions of death, as this chapter takes place mostly during a funeral. There is also a vague mention of substance abuse, but except for that there isn't too much out of the ordinary.

 

 

It was truly the most dreadful day of Jung Taekwoon's life. It was the day of Hakyeon's funeral and at this point he wasn't sure if he had any tears left to shed. He was like an empty husk of a person, and he had issues recalling what his life was before meeting Hakyeon. He had lived 24 full years on this planet without Hakyeon, and he had managed to live somehow, so it should be possible in theory to continue on as before, shouldn't it? The problem was that once he had met Hakyeon he had been shown how amazing life could be, and once he had a taste of that brilliance, it was difficult to go back to a life he hadn't previously realized was empty. 

It was the hardest thing in the world to get out of bed this morning. He had suffered through the death of his lover, and attending this funeral filled with people who pitied him and Hakyeon's family was just the final nail in the coffin, no pun indented. 

 

He was dressed in his best suit. He had purchased it with Hakyeon, after Hakyeon realized he had no proper suits. It was a solid black suit, with a white Royal Oxford dress shirt with French cuffs, a tie he remembered to be dark blue and polished shoes. Hakyeon had tried persuading him into buying a morning coat for the suit as well, but he had opted out of it. Now he sort of regretted it. Today was not as hot as many of the days before, so he might be able to breathe in his suit. He heard a knock on his door, and the feeling resembled that of a call to battle. He had to get through today, for Hakyeon's sake. 

 

Jaehwan walked into the room, most likely tired of waiting. Jaehwan was far away from his usual boisterous self, and appeared much more careful and quiet. Jaehwan studied him for a moment before speaking.

 _"Are you ready?"_ He asked. His voice was shaking a tiny bit, and Taekwoon would probably have missed it if he wasn't paying extreme attention. After a long pause he spoke, his voice barely above a whisper.

 

_"As ready as I'll ever be."_

_"You look great. Hakyeon would have been proud."_ Jaehwan commented. _"I'll be there, I'll make sure you get through this."_ Taekwoon sent him a smile, but he couldn't bear to reply.

 

***

 

They arrived at the church where the funeral was held. They greeted Hakyeon's family and friends, some of them were familiar faces, and others were unknown. Childhood friends and relatives mostly. They had managed to form quite the crowd. All people who cared about the love of his life as well, and it was a day for them as much as for Hakyeon himself. Perhaps funerals were more for the living, rather the deceased.

 

Sanghyuk had joined him and Jaehwan right away, and as soon they spotted Hongbin they walked over to him. The ceremony itself didn't start for another twenty minutes, so they had time to talk for a while. Hongbin was dressed in a black suit with a dark coloured tie. Taekwoon could tell it wasn't black, but he had no idea what colour it was. Hongbin was talking to a man, another unfamiliar face. The man was wearing a black suit, with a matching black shirt and tie. As Hongbin noticed him, he walked forward and hugged Taekwoon. Seeing he was in safe hands, literally, Sanghyuk and Jaehwan went to talk to some of the other guests. 

 _"Hi Hongbin. How are you?"_ Taekwoon greeted, hugging him back.

_"Hi, Taekwoon. Barely keeping it together, how about you?"_

 

 _"Couldn't have said it better myself."_ Taekwoon gave a weak smile, as he let Hongbin go. He sent the stranger a curious look. _"Care to introduce me to your friend here?"_

 _"I suppose this isn't the best event for you to meet him for the first time. Actually there probably couldn't be a worse time."_ Hongbin paused. Taekwoon's eyes widened in curiosity. What could this possibly be? Hongbin rested his hand on the man's lower back as they stood next to one another. _"Taekwoon, this is my soulmate, Kim Wonshik."_

Oh. Now he understood why Hongbin was nervous about introducing him. He noticed his smile had faltered, so he tried his best to smile again. He reached out his hand towards Wonshik.

 

 _"Nice to meet you, Wonshik. Sorry if I look a bit upset, but I'm sure you can understand, considering the event. Where did the two of you meet?"_ Taekwoon said. He loathed the envy in his heart. He wanted so badly to feel happy for Hongbin, but he wasn't sure if happiness was truly an emotion he could convey at this point.

 _"Nice to meet you too, Taekwoon. I am sorry for your loss. I also have to apologise for this being how we are meeting."_ Wonshik shook his hand. Hongbin must have briefed him thoroughly on the situation, as he looked saddened by the loss of someone he'd never even met.

 

 _"We met in the park, the one right outside the city. I went there a lot with Hakyeon, so I was just there mulling over things, but I won't complain about the outcome."_ Hongbin replied.

 _"That's lovely. It sounds really beautiful. Also, Wonshik, there is no need for apologies. You did nothing wrong. The ceremony is starting soon, so I'll have to be quick about this. I want you two to promise me something, alright?"_ Taekwoon requested. The pair looked mildly confused, but nodded anyway. _"Promise me that you will take care of one another. Promise me that you will never let each other go. I couldn't wish this on my worst enemy, let alone any of my friends. I don't want you to suffer like I am."_

 

Taekwoon's tone was filled with so much suffering and pain, that it was heartbreaking just to listen to. Hongbin almost choked up just listening to his lament.

 _"I promise."_ Hongbin and Wonshik said in unison.

 

They started approaching the church, they still had a few minutes. At the entrance of the church, Hakyeon's closest family were greeting everyone attending the funeral. He had talked to Hakyeon's parents over the phone and over Skype while planning the funeral. They had asked him if he felt comfortable greeting the guests, but he had respectfully asked if he could opt out. He felt very unstable, and wasn't sure if he would be able to do the task well enough.

 

 _"You must be Taekwoon."_ An older woman he recognised as Hakyeon's mother greeted him. She was a tiny woman, dressed in all black. She had the same warm eyes as Hakyeon. 

 _"Hello Mrs. Cha, It's nice to finally meet you in person. I wished we had met under more pleasant circumstances though."_ Taekwoon gave her a sympathetic look. Mrs. Cha hugged him closely, wrapping her arms around his torso.

 

 _"Thank you for being my Hakyeon's soulmate. He loved you so much."_ She released him as she paused. _"The day he met you, he called me. Do you know what he told me? He told me he met the man of his dreams today, his soulmate, and he hoped they could be together forever."_

Taekwoon could feel his heart breaking all over again. The dull pain that had subsided in his heart for most of the time had transformed back into the raw pain he had felt right after Hakyeon's death.

 _"He was wonderful. I loved him more than I thought I could ever love anyone. He was truly the most amazing soulmate anyone could ever ask for, and more, and I miss him every second that passes."_ Taekwoon spoke softly as usual, but the intensity of his words made an impression nevertheless. 

 

***

 

In the vast majority of movies, whenever someone lost their soulmates, they killed themselves as well. They lived in a society which emphasised that the only way to be happy was with your soulmate, dead or alive. So, in addition to dealing with Hakyeon's death, he had to deal with the fact that most people almost expected to attend his funeral soon as well. While sitting through the service, Taekwoon couldn't help but notice the sympathetic looks he received from most of the people sitting around him. It wasn't just a look that spoke of the loss of one's soulmate, it was like they were treating him as if they expected the slightest thing could make him want to end his own life.

He had accepted Hakyeon's mother's request for him to hold a eulogy at Hakyeon's funeral. Hakyeon's father didn't want to speak, as he didn't trust his emotions in front of a crowd, so it was just the priest, Mrs. Cha and Taekwoon speaking at the funeral. The priest had explained that other people might wait for the wake, before they speak, but it was common for the soulmate and immediate family, such as parents or siblings to hold the official eulogies. In a few minutes he was set to speak, and he was just waiting for his cue. Once the priest said, _"and now, a few words from the deceased's soulmate"_ he stood up, and walked to the front.

 

It was weird. Taekwoon had only attended two funerals in his life, for his grandparents. He was very little, and he could not remember much. All he remembered was that shortly after his grandfather died, his grandmother had a heart attack, resulting in her demise as well. He had written down his speech, just in case, but he didn't think he would need it. He took a deep breath.

 _"Today is the day we say goodbye to Cha Hakyeon, my dearest soulmate. The world seemed to loose it's charm once we lost him. But I am not here to talk about his death, I am here to talk about his life. He is t_ _he only man I'll ever truly love, and the kindest and most loving person I ever knew. I only knew him for a short time, but it proved itself to be the best time of my life. He was funny, and smart, and was may better with words than I have ever been. The world seems much more bleak without him, both in the figurative sense and literal sense for me."_ He paused for a second. It was hard to say these words. He didn't ever want to be in this situation. He wanted to run away, but certain things in life you can't run away from.

 

 _"The people sitting here, family, friends, loved ones; all here to celebrate his life._ _I am truly envious of those who knew Hakyeon for his entire life. I am afraid to sound self-centered, but I cannot help it. He slipped through my fingers so fast. I tasted eternity in every colour the world could give me for a moment, and then he was gone, as was every colour in my life."_ He told himself in his mind, that funerals were for the living. He was about to cry, so he had to wrap this up quickly.

_"So now I say goodbye to Hakyeon. Because he is not there to laugh with us anymore. Because he is not here to smile and say it's all okay when any of us are upset. Because he is not here for us to bestow our love upon him anymore. Because he is not coming back. To Hakyeon. You will be missed, dearest."_

As he walked down the aisle to sit down next to Jaehwan again, everyone applauded. He let a few tears fall down his cheeks, and felt Jaehwan take his hand. This was awful. The funeral itself was nice, as far as funerals go, but just the entire experience felt like walking through hell.

 

***

 

Taekwoon was at the funeral wake, and he felt terrible. The raw pain from earlier was the same, and his head hurt. He just wanted to go home, but he knew there would be no joy or warmth in that home once he got there. Only the cold loneliness it had been the past couple of days. At the reception there were a buffet area, and an area with tables where people could sit down. He had gotten himself a drink and sat down. Except for the regular flow of people coming over saying their _"I'm sorry for your loss"_ or _"I'm sorry it happened this way."_ he was left mostly to himself. It all felt so wrong. He didn't want to hear the other people at the funeral being sorry. It wasn't their fault. It was nobody's fault. Yet they felt they had to say it. He was practically drowning in their pity, and it all made him feel so much worse.

The wake had not being going on for that long, yet he was at his third drink. He really wanted a cigarette. When he was younger he had always loved singing as a hobby, even if it was nothing serious he would do nothing to jeopardise his voice, and therefore he had never touched a cigarette. Now it didn't seem to matter. Who was he going to sing for anyway?

 

 _"I think you should slow down on the drinks."_ Hongbin commented, as he sat down at his table.

 _"What does it matter? It makes it easier not to think."_ Taekwoon mumbled. 

 

 _"That is exactly why. You have to stay somewhat coherent in case you need to talk to anyone. Plus, you are not going to love yourself tomorrow if you keep drinking."_ Hongbin said, slowly taking his drink away from him.

 _"I won't love myself tomorrow anyway, but fine, I'll stop drinking."_ He sighed. His head felt heavy.

 

 _"Why not? You know him dying was not your fault, right?"_ Hongbin said, he sounded a bit panicked. His voice was filled with that pity Taekwoon despised so much. 

 _"I just keep thinking, what if I had gone to him instead, like we always did? What if I had gone to meet him halfway? Or figured something was up a bit faster? Would he be here today? Would it have been me instead of him? I would gladly trade in my life for his."_ Taekwoon's voice was the most melancholic thing. His usual soft voice had rose to a regular tone of voice, and he sounded empty. Like he would never be happy again. Hongbin paused, opening and closing his mouth, like he had no idea what to say in response. Maybe he hadn't. 

 

 _"It was not your fault. Don't blame yourself for thing that can not be changed. Yes, if any of those things had happened he might be alive right now, and he might not. You might be alive right now, or you might not. Life is a series of coincidences, and we can't dwell in the ifs or buts, or we might lose ourselves."_ He paused. Hongbin's tone was comforting, but suddenly it transformed into something more serious. 

_"Say they did though, who should suffer as you suffer? Some person you have never met before? Hakyeon? Anyone else? Don't you think if things had gone differently, and you had died in Hakyeon's place, that he would not be just as devastated as you are, or perhaps more? I'm sorry if I appear harsh, but I need you to understand this. Your feelings are valid, but I really don't want to lose another of my best friends."_

 

 _"No, it's okay. I needed that. Don't worry, you won't lose me as well. I'll be back to normal in a while, I just need to recover."_ Liar, he thought in his mind. He didn't believe his own words, but he hoped to God they were true. _"Go be with your soulmate. What was his name, Wonshik? Life is fleeting, so spend as much time with him as you possibly can."_

 _"Alright, I will. He makes me kind of uncertain of myself. I was used to being around people without much feelings involved, but with everything that has happened lately I feel more vulnerable. He takes good care of me, but I am afraid of what might happen. What if he one day doesn't want me? What if he dies, like Hakyeon died?"_ Hongbin looked worried, so Taekwoon decided to say the one thing he could say.

_"No ifs or buts, remember? Enjoy your life with him, make every moment count. You will regret it if you do not."_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> This chapter took a lot longer than I expected, so I apologize for that. It was a lot that needed to be said, and it was a long chapter, but I hope it was good in the end. 
> 
> What did you think? I love to hear your responses, so don't be afraid to comment. Feel free to leave your rants, emotions, and everything else for me to read. If you find any typos or have any complaints about how I write the characters, don't be afraid to tell me that either. I live for comments, and they are my favourite thing about writing fics.  
> Love you lots, I'll try to update soon ♥


	9. Don't let me be gone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 2025
> 
> Rating: PG/PG-13

* * *

 

A couple of weeks had passed after Hakyeon's funeral. All of his friends were slowly accepting reality for what it was, as absolutely dreadful as it was. Hongbin had been plagued with guilt by his encounter with Wonshik, because he met his soulmate right when two of his best friends were ripped apart. While he knew none of that was his fault, the void Hakyeon had left in his wake was hurting him. He needed someone to talk to, to vent to, to share the pain and pleasures of his life with. He knew Wonshik could be that, but not in the way Hakyeon had been. He wanted his best friend back. 

He had gone to talk to a therapist, to see if she could see something he didn't. She suggested that he should say a final goodbye to Hakyeon. Visit his grave, and say farewell to ease his own heart. He couldn't. The wound was too fresh, and it felt wrong to even consider it. 

 

After he had explained that saying goodbye to Hakyeon was not an option, she stopped to think for a minute. Then she suggested that the cause of his distress, apart from the bereft of Hakyeon, was the collision between the happiest moment of his life, and the worst thus far. After he agreed to this she suggested he talked to Hakyeon. She suggested writing letters, or visiting Hakyeon's grave and talking to him like that. If he did that every once in a while, his distress should unravel some, and he should theoretically be able to lower his shoulders a bit. It was a form of acknowledging his death without falling headfirst into a pit of despair.

Partially because Hongbin didn't own a car, and partially because he needed emotional support to even make the journey to the church, he asked Wonshik to come with him. Wonshik obliged happily. He had agreed with the therapist. He thought this might help relieve some of his lover's distress. He hoped it did. For an average couple, seeing one another in pain was a challenge in itself, but once you had a soulmate bond your emotions were more closely connected. You achieved this heightened sensitivity for that person, an infinite tenderness for everything they did. Seeing Hongbin suffering from something he could not save him from was absolutely terrifying. If Hongbin was in physical danger he would do anything, but he didn't know how to save Hongbin from himself. 

 

Wonshik looked over at Hongbin for a moment, before returning his focus towards the road. Hongbin was wearing a white-collared shirt, and a nice pair of jeans, with  leather ankle boots. Over it he had put on his dark-blue pea coat and he had brought his bag that was usually used for his camera. He had taken time to brush his hair properly this morning, making sure he looked good today. Wonshik had gotten more used to the Hongbin with messy bed-hair, soft sweaters and smooth lips he usually saw, but he had absolutely no complaints on his appearance today.

He parked the car in the church parking lot. They both exited the car, and Wonshik went to the backseat, where they had put a bouquet of white lilies. He handed them over to Hongbin.

_"Do you want me to go with you, or should I wait here?"_ Wonshik asked. He looked down at his hands, taking a long look at the violet circle tattoo on his wrist.

_"No, I think I should make this journey on my own. I'll come back if I need you. Next time, I'll bring you with me. I want to introduce you to him, if you would be okay with that."_ Hongbin told his other half. Wonshik kissed him softly.

_"Of course dear, I'd do anything to make you happy."_

 

Hongbin walked up towards the graveyard, after Wonshik had gotten back into the car. Once he located the grave the faint ache in his chest subsided some. He sat down in front of it, placing the flowers on the grave. He wasn't the only one whom had placed flowers here, he noticed. Taekwoon was planning on planting some flowers here once spring arrived. He took a deep breath.

_"Hello, Hakyeon. It's me Hongbin. Sorry I haven't visited before now. I have something I need to tell you, you won't believe it! I met my soulmate a couple of weeks ago."_ Hongbin paused, as he looked at the grave stone in front of him. He tried to imagine Hakyeon's face there instead, but it was difficult.  He felt odd about talking to a gravestone. He must look half insane, sitting there, as if he was waiting for it to respond.

 

_"His name is Wonshik, Kim Wonshik. It hasn't been the fairytale romance you and Taekwoon seemed to have. We have to work for it a bit more, but at least our personalities don't clash. We even each other out. He seems tough, but he is really nice."_ Hongbin could feel himself choke up. He swallowed his tears. He didn't want to cry here. He thought again about Wonshik's offer to go with him, but this he had to do alone. He would take him here, one day.

 

_"He isn't perfect, by far. Remember how we used to dream about our potential soulmates? He isn't perfect, but he is kind, and he listens well. He dresses a bit strange sometimes, and he spends a lot of time at the gym. He works as a music producer, did I tell you that?"_ Hongbin tried to dry his tears. He looked over at the parking lot. Wonshik looked worried, but he was waiting patiently. _"I am rambling, but I mean every word."_

_"He brought me red roses on our first date, and he tries his best to make sure that I'm happy."_ Hongbin felt tears running down his cheeks. _"He's here right now, I'll introduce you some time. I think you would have liked him a lot."_

 

Hongbin tried to calm himself down, but his breath felt like it escaped him. He looked down at his bag. Opening it, he pulled out a set of photographs. Some of the ones he was most proud of.

_"Remember when you asked me why I took photos when I could only see in monochrome? And I replied it was so I could have a visual collection of my memories? Well, I was right. I looked through my old photos the other day, and there were so many lovely memories in there."_ Hongbin said, feeling a bit better as he looked through the pictures. 

 

_"Remember this?"_ He said, pointing to a picture. _"These are the pink azeleas we saw a couple of days before you met Taekwoon. I had no idea they were so saturated."_ He admired the photo for a bit. _"Or these? From the time we spent a day walking through the city just because we had nothing to do. You said you were at the brink of apathy at the point of soulmates, and we drank too much chocolate milkshake. That was a good day."_

 

He looked at the next picture and felt his heart drop. It was the only photo he had brought that was not taken by him. It was a photo of him, Hakyeon and Taekwoon together. Hakyeon and Taekwoon were holding hands, and Hongbin was hugging Hakyeon's arm and leaning his head on his shoulder.

_"How about this one? The server looked so confused when we asked her if she could take a photo of us, but it turned out pretty well. Except for the fact that I am wearing the most hideously coloured tee."_ Hongbin laughed a bit to himself.

_"I wish you were here to look at these pictures with me, like we always said we would. I wish we could just look through them, and that you could point out what all the colour nuances are called, as I haven't taught myself that yet."_ He heard his voice get shakier, barely covering his sobs. _"I miss you. A lot. We all miss you."_ He took another deep breath, and sat there quietly for a minute.

 

_"I think I should go. I'll come back, talk more to you. Goodbye for now, Hakyeon."_ He put the pictures back into his bag, and walked towards the car. He watched Wonshik exit, and walked over to hug him. They stood like that for a bit, before Wonshik spoke.

_"Are you okay?"_ Wonshik rubbed his back, trying his best to comfort his lover.

_"I don't know."_ Hongbin replied. The weight on his shoulders from earlier felt a bit lighter, but he couldn't help but crying. Before the incident, Hongbin hadn't really been one for crying, at least not in public.

 

_"Do you feel better? Or like you are going to be okay sometime soon?"_ Wonshik's worried voice spoke softly.

_"I do."_ Hongbin nodded to himself. This had to be a part of the healing process, he thought. Wonshik kissed him softly. 

_"Let's go home."_

 

***

 

They walked into Wonshik's flat. Hongbin had thought about them moving together, but it was a bit early in their developing relationship to do so. Although, it wasn't far off. Hongbin had a lot of his possessions in his soulmate's flat anyway, for whenever he was staying over. They had decided to watch some Netflix, so Wonshik had gone into the kitchen to make them lunch. 

 

Hongbin was walking aimlessly around the flat. After the entire graveyard visit he felt better, but he couldn't help feeling constricted. He sort of felt like he was being choked, and he just wanted to get out of his clothes. He entered the bedroom, and started undressing. He located one of Wonshik's sweaters, it was made out of a navy fabric and just a tad bit oversized. It also smelled like Wonshik, which he liked a lot. He removed his pants, but kept his socks on, and walked into the living room to locate a blanket.

_"I know there are at least three of your sweaters somewhere around this flat, so would you care to explain why you are wearing one of mine?"_ Wonshik asked, raising an eyebrow at him. Wonshik had walked into the room and put their food on the sofa table.

 

_"This sweater smells like you, it smells safe. None of my sweaters do that."_ Hongbin shrugged, sitting down on the sofa and wrapping his legs underneath the blanket.

_"You are too cute."_ Wonshik walked over, and kissed his forehead. _"But if you're going to be like that, I am taking one of your sweaters. That one is the softest I own."_

_"I am fully aware of that."_ Hongbin smirked. He turned his attention to the TV, trying to find something to watch. He watched Wonshik disappear out of the room, and return in about the same attire. They sat together on the sofa, cuddling underneath a blanket. Hongbin rested his hands on Wonshik's thighs, and kissed him softly.

 

If you looked at the big picture, Hongbin was getting happier. Wonshik had become his safe space, and he was always patient with him. He had proved himself to be a great boyfriend over and over again, and Hongbin never felt as safe as he did when he was with Wonshik. No, things were not perfect, but he could picture a future where they would be. His heart would heal, one day, but for now, this was enough. Just to sit here, in Wonshik's embrace, forgetting the turmoil of life.

Perhaps the clashing events of his life happened for a reason. If Wonshik hadn't been there to support him, he didn't know if they would have had the possibility to ever meet. Who can say if he'd been changed for the better by these events? All he knew was that he had changed, he had been hurt, and he had been loved. He was both the same and a completely different person than he had been before. One thing he knew for sure, was that he'd been changed for good. And that wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! 
> 
> I realize I have been absent from this story for almost two and a half months, and for that I apologize.   
> This story feels like it is getting closer to the end, but I am going to write chapters for the other characters, so I don't leave any loose ends behind. I was thinking to either make a chapter for Sanghyuk, Jaehwan and Taekwoon all together, or separating them. I'm not sure.
> 
> What did you think? I love to hear your responses, so don't be afraid to comment. Feel free to leave your rants, emotions, and everything else for me to read. If you find any typos or have any complaints about how I write the characters, don't be afraid to tell me that either. I live for comments, and they are my favourite thing about writing fics.
> 
> Love you lots, I'll try to update soon ♥


	10. I will follow you into the dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 923
> 
> Rating: G/PG

Jaehwan and Taekwoon were sitting on the roof of Taekwoon's apartment building, watching the sunset. The yellow, pink and orange tones that only Jaehwan could see was melting into one another. The air outside was still warm, and the world around them looked quiet, from where they sat. They had been sitting in silence, before Jaehwan spoke up.

"How are you holding up?" Jaehwan's voice was hesitant. He looked over at Taekwoon, who still had a neutral facial expression. 

"Just, in general?" Taekwoon's voice was soft as usual, and he sounded closer to bored than upset, so the other man considered this a victory.

"You know, you seem better, than you have been in a long time. More tranquil somehow." The setting sun was painting Taekwoon's face in an orange light. 

 

"I think I may have been coming to peace with things. At least I've started to. While I miss him every minute of every day, and the past few months have undeniably been the worst of my life, I am realizing that there is nothing I can do to change the events of the past. As much as I wish I could stop the world from moving on, leaving him in he past, and eventually forgetting him, I can't. The panic in my brain has calmed a bit. I hate that this is what I have to classify as happiness for now, but I think it's the closest I'll get." Taekwoon spoke slowly and calmly. When he finished, Jaehwan was silent for a couple of minutes.

"I must admit, I didn't expect that you might reach this stage quite so quickly."

"I didn't either. People grieve differently, and I think from now I just wish to honour his memory. The thing is, I could live forever, but he still wouldn't come back. He never will. And one day I will be at peace with that fact. I am not there yet, and I probably won't be there for a while. For the time being, I have simply accepted his death, nothing more. I could refuse to do so, but I realise he would not wish for me to waste my life holed up in my bed, until I met my early demise from forgetting to eat or something of the like." Taekwoon said. He was smiling now. "He may float down from heaven just to smack me on the head." 

"He would. I can just imagine Hakyeon coming back from the dead to remind you to take care of yourself." They laughed at the idea. They continued to have nights like this one, where all they did was sit and talk. Jaehwan made it his mission in life to make sue that Taekwoon was never lonely. And he almost, never, was. 

 

 

Out of all the challenges Taekwoon had and would face within his life, losing Hakyeon was easily the hardest. Everyone dreaded the idea of losing their soulmate one day, and when fate ripped them apart so soon, it broke him. But, broken people can patch themselves together. Broken people can heal. Taekwoon was like a crumpled paper. He would never be truly the same, but he could gather himself to most of what he was before, although with the scars of a beautiful relationship.

To say he was ever as truly happy as he was in the days Hakyeon was alive would be a lie, but so would saying that he lived the rest of life in a miserable manor. He found comfort in his friends, in his work. He found meaning in others when he had lost it all. He travelled the world and helped the people that crossed his path. He started an organisation to support people who had lost their soulmates, as he meant this culture of suicide was literally killing society. The fact that people didn't believe you could survive without the promise or reality of a soulmate was awful, and he wanted to change that.

 

Even as Jung Taekwoon was sitting in his house, age 85, he was not alone. He knew he was dying. He was staring out the window, at the rising sun, the greyscale sky saying goodbye to another life. He had his cat Gold, who ironically had black fur, curled up in his lap. Some say animals can sense it when people are dying, and Gold certainly had. Taekwoon was living proof that you could live a full life without a soulmate, and now he was dying, his body letting him know it was alright to let go. 

"Hakyeon, I am coming soon. It's not far away now. It feels as if I have lived forever, and you didn't come back, so now I am coming to you. After all these years, are you still waiting?" He said, as he was watching his last sunrise. He closed his eyes, and death overcame him.

When he opened them again Hakyeon was standing right in front of him. The golden circle is once again tattooed on his wrist, and all he can see is his beloved. He was as beautiful as ever, his face never learned the consequences of ageing. Next to them stood a mirror, everything else seemed to be pure light. He looked at himself in the mirror, and he noticed he had become young once more. He was 25 again, back at his prime, where he was the most happy. He turned back to Hakyeon, realizing he had been quiet up until now.

 

"What took you so long? I've missed you." 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> I am sorry for abandoning this story, and well, everything. I randomly clicked into the site this story was originally posted on, and remembered the fact that I never finished this story. I have for the most part left the kpop fandom, as i just didn't have time to keep up with everything, and therefore I have left some stories under that category behind. (Sidenote: I will try to write more of other stuff so don't give up on me as an author yet.)
> 
>  I hope this ending clears up the loose ends. I haven't focused too much on the progression of Jaehwan and Sanghyuk's relationship, so I hope you can all imagine they lived a long, happy life together. I felt I had to close this story up, so while this ending may not be perfect, at least it should provide closure.
> 
> What did you think? I love to hear your responses, so don't be afraid to comment. Feel free to leave your rants, emotions, and everything else for me to read. If you find any typos or have any complaints about how I write the characters, don't be afraid to tell me that either. I live for comments, and they are my favourite thing about writing fics.
> 
> Love you lots, goodbye for now.

**Author's Note:**

> This story, like most of my other stories, is crossposted over at my AFF.  
> (Link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1110147/the-day-before-angst-leo-vixx-hakyeon-taekwoon-neo-soulmateau)


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